...my head hurts. its stress again. i really need a vacation. I wanted to just drive down to Mexico today, drink beers and eat chips and salsa on a beach somewhere. Instead I went to the grocery store and stared at all the beers, until I decided to skip it and just get some food and go home. Didnt want to drink myself into a stupor this evening...ok thats not true, I did, but I decided not to. Drinking at home alone would be sad. And drinking out in a bar would only get me slapped in the face or a DUI , and I dont need either. Burned some incense and just sat and meditated for a bit. That helped, but still feel tense. Much better than yesterday, felt very angry. And I am not the type to get angry often, and when I do, I dont get physically violent. And certainly wouldnt hurt anyone I care for. But it was a boiling feeling. Talking about it with Cheyenne helped a lot. Its good to have someone close you can talk to. It helps to write too. Though not as much fun as drinking your problems away...

Space shuttle....what a tragedy. 7 astronauts, all dead. And the families just watching it fall. And with one of them being an Israeli, you can only imagine what will follow. Assholes who hate Israel will jump on this. And then we have the long investigations into how this happened. Just awful. I remember as a kid, we were in school when the first shuttle went up, and all the classrooms had gathered to watch it on tv. Things will slow down, but I would hate to see a long break in NASA activities.

What a day. So glad the weekend is here and that I got paid today. Seems like people just cant get over themselves sometimes. Dont they ever realize that they arent the most important being with the most important things to do in this world? I see these people when they drive, no sense of anyone else on the road. At work, no sense that other people have things to do as well. I know its just the way they are. Selfish. And they have a right to be. But they also cant expect me to like it or to put up with it. Course, I prefer it when people underestimate me. T.R. really had the right idea about walking softly and carrying a big stick. Anyhoo. Its going to be a relaxing weekend. I plan on working in the garage and pulling out some books and papers and organzing them. I am such a pack rat. I have biology notes from my freshman year in high school. When I first moved back here, I still had PC games from our old 8086 back when DOS 5.0 was the way and you were lucky if your graphics card and monitor had 4 colors. I held on to them for sentiments sake. But I made progress and was able to throw em away. Though I will hang on to our old Atari 2600 heheh.

Well some asshole at work hasnt come in the past two days and now his work is being divided among several of us. And I had no clue what he was doing or how. Yet now I have to manage his crap. I cant stand people who dont take care of their responsibilities. At least have the balls to call in and quit.Ugh...But if I pull through and help out the boss until they hire someone new, I will have moved that much closer to more money in March. Always climbing one branch higher in the tree for my share of the bananas....ah how far we have evolved.

Seems like this week has gone by fast, and yet its only Wednesday. I could use a vacation, I have been thinking of going on a cruise or to some tropical island. Hell at the very least I should drive up the coast and visit my folks. Sit on their patio, read a book and look at the ocean, with the sun on my face. Ah how I envy them. One day that will be my life. Until then work and plan.

Home at a decent hour for a change, and in plenty of time to watch President Bush #2 make his "golly gee i dont wanna have to go to war, but Saddam is a bad man and started it first" speech. Oh and lets not forget about the Big Tax Cut. Gotta make the case for that. I cant wait to hear how he can justify deficit spending and increasing the national debt all in a desperate effort to jump start the economy.....poor kid, he should never have stopped drinking.

another long day, busy at work and then busy working out. I think in a couple weeks we will try to start working out in the morning before work. I really hate losing the rest of my day, and getting home after eleven isnt fun. So it means another night wound up and restless. Ah well I can catch up on my reading...laterz

.....Alias was good tonight...not just Jennifer Garner in lingere, but the twists in the story-line and the action..wow. That show just rocks. During summers when I was a kid, I used to love watching Mission Impossible. The ones with Leonard Nimoy were always good. He was the master of disguise.I was really excited when they remade the tv show in the late 80's, but it just didnt catch. I keep seeing these ads for the new Dragnet, but I dont know, it looks like LAPD Blue to me. Joe Friday, was tough and gruff but he was a straight arrow. The whole roughing up suspects thing just didnt happen. Of course back then he could just threaten some punk with 3 years in jail, and they would usually crack. These days that wouldnt work on anyone but some kid shoplifting.

It was such a beautiful day today, it was in the low 80's though it felt like mid 70's. Put on some shorts and sandals and went out to do laundry and get a sandwich from the deli next door. The sandwich was good, but the pickles they put on the side...yuck...they were not even pickled long...I have excellent senses, and very few things get past me, and I could tell just by the taste that it was still a cucumber....I call that premature pickling..... While I was folding laundry I watched Fools Rush In, Salma is such a goddess. The movie is funny and sweet, but with Salma in it, it really gets to me. Between that and the movie Entropy I am determined to just get married in Vegas to someone I hardly know. Course she will have to be hot.