I saw "Man on Fire" today. It was pretty good. Some of the plot elements were very unoriginal but you can't argue with the acting abilities of the cast. Well except for Marc Anthony. Essentially the movie is about the girl who opens the heart of a wounded and tormented silent tough guy. Then of course she is kidnapped and he vows revenge and in the end the usual story of redemption. Perosnally I could have done without the redemption aspect. That is why I always liked the Punisher's character, nothing but unmitigated revenge. No retirement on a beach somewhere, no dying to save the life of a kitty cat. Just relentless killing until he dies. A man with no hope, nothing to live for but the revenge. Which is one of the reasons why I still haven't been able to bring myself to watch The Punisher movie. Maybe tomorrow. Who knows.
Why the hell is popcorn so freeking expensive. The small popcorn is $4.50. The jumbo size is $6.00. Small drink is $3.75 and the largest drink is $4.25. How silly is this going to get? A small popcorn and a small drink would cost you $8.25. That is crazy insane. The absolute most they should charge for that should be $5.00. Obviously that is insanely high too. But it's not as bad. 5 bucks for a small popcorn/drink combo. I don't know how they can sell these things to us with a straight face.

Ok, so much for not drinking for awhile. The other day at work I saw this ad in the O.C. Weekly for Fitzgerald's Pub in H.B. Bridget the Midget was playing with some punk band. So being the good friend that I am, I faxed the information to my good friend who has a very strong fetish for midgets. So I met him and some of the employees he supervises at work, at this bar. Luckily for me it is just down the street from me. It was fun, some of the bands were pretty decent. Just some weird interpersonal dynamics going on that I just didn't want to be a part of. Though I am a part of it. They were going to head out to Lake Forest to see some band that this one chick likes, the girl from the other night I work with. Very weird vibe. Needless to say I decided I didn't want to make the drive down there as much as I would like to have hung out with my friend. Plus again the weirdness. Isn't high school over? WTF.
I am completely starving. Running around today I kept putting a meal off, only ended up having some carrots as a snack after the movie since I skipped spending a fortune on the popcorn. Some water and light t.v. before bed and I will sleep like a baby.

Ah another evening of fun has come to an end. And an early end too. Which is good because I need to get some sleep and rest. Thursday instead of going straight home from work and working out like I have been, I decided to join two close friends from work and a newer female friend from work. Of course I am interested in this person, curious to be more precise. So it was a good oportunity to get to know her better. The 4 of us went to a dive bar/pool hall near work and proceeded to drink about 4 or 5 rounds of drinks. Then one of my friends went home with his girlfriend who picked him up. So now my buddy Ed decides its about 7 and time to eat. So we agree to head over to this great Japanese place near my house that he and I have been to before. Memories of that first time led me to believe this would be a good chance for us to head to my place afterward. And by us I mean myself and this girl from work. That's the insidious plan I had anyway.
So we eat and drink, lots of Sake. Then as we are about to finish up and leave, though we don't know where. Our friend is on her cell phone and has some little twerp friend of hers show up. Totally ruined the evening for me and Ed. But being the gracious folks we are we then head out to another little bar not far from where this adventure began. This is where things get weird as the four of us talk and Ed and I are trying to determine what her relationship is to this guy. My interest is obvious, Ed's is twofold, on one hand he is backing me up but aside from that, we began this adventure without this twerp. And Ed doesn't like add-ons. I have seen it before, and even if it's just another friend, if they show up 10 min late, that's ok. But to walk into the party/adventure in the middle or near the end is just a no-no. Which I totally understand. It ruins the dynamic that was set forth in the beginning.
Anyhoo. Ed and I decide it's time to end this as the twerp is a complete buzz-kill and it's obvious I am getting nowhere with him around.
We all drank pretty much the same, and I was not feeling 100% this morning after only 4 hours of sleep. I debated whethere to stay home or not, but I take pride in not allowing my fun to interfere with going to work. When I get to work however, I learn that didn't stop the other two from staying home to nurse their hangovers.

Tonight could have turned into another night of drinking but I wanted to go home and work out since I didn't on Thursday. But Alex and his girlfriend were going to get a drink at Havana in Costa Mesa with her sister. As soon as sangria was mentioned I was there. Though I only had one glass of it as I intended to head home before 6 and work out.
Then it turns into lets go eat. Here we go again. This time we head to a Japanese-Korean place nearby. You pick the meats you want then grill them at your table. I tried to back out as I dont like to cook my own meat or see it raw. Yah I am weird. Sue me. But his girlfriend invited me as did her sister. How can I say no? So it was a good meal. Her sister kept grilling the food for us and it was damn good. I skipped drinking though, no more Sake for me tonight.
I am going to get a good night's sleep and will have to work out this weekend to make up for missing two days this week. Plus to make up for all the alcohol and great food too.
It is worth it though to hang out with really good people and have fun like that. Sometimes I forget it's ok to socialize and relax. I try to maintain some rigid schedule and while it helps me to stay on task with certain goals I have, it shouldn't stop me from living life.

The Reality of War is here, whatever your politics or points of view on this or any war there are always those who will pay the ultimate price. No one can look at this and tell if what their politics were, their religions, their gender, ethnicity, or any other number of factors used to categorize and marginalize people. All one can say is they are Americans.
In 8th grade we had the opportunity to go to Washington D.C., Philadelphia, Gettysburg, and Mt. Vernon. I saved my money so I could go and was very excited about it. On our trip a few students would be chosen to walk with the honor guard at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier and lay a wreath. To determine who would be chosen we wrote essays. I don't remember what the subject was if any was specifically given. I do remember what I wrote about. I was honored to be selected and when we arrived at Arlington National Cemetary I was struck by a very solemn feeling, I would feel this again at Gettysburg and the Vietnam Memorial among other places of remembrance/death. It just strikes a chord deep within me when I see images like that or can feel the weight of such a place. Hearing the national anthem sung, staring at the flag I can feel the enormity of what it means to be an American and how lucky I am. And I feel great respect for those who give their lives for this country and I wish for no more coffins draped with the American flag.

What, if anything, does it all mean? I wonder that far too often for my own good. I can't fully subscribe to the idea that there is some outside cosmic meaning, but I also can't accept some nihilistic lifestyle and live like there is no tomorrow, polluting my body and brain or doing damage to others. It worries me sometimes that I don't have some concrete clique I can cling to that will keep me warm at night and allow me to march forth over anyone in my way. But I also can't fully wrap myself in the defenseless martyrdom and helpless acceptance of all that around me. Always torn between yin and yang. Born in January with Janus forever part of my life. And somewhere in between is the balance I strive to achieve.
We make our own meanings in life is about the only thing I can come up with. Some of us search out meanings in other things, sex, drugs, religion, work, violence, pain, denial, etc. Some of us are just given a definition early on and we can't get past it or just don't see more beyond that.
Humans are a marvelous and a terrible thing at once. So much potential for creation and destruction. Our actions can wipe out untold numbers of species. We can build grand monuments, change the course of rivers, bring down mountians, cure diseases, make sacrifices for ideals, lie, cheat, steal, love, hate, think, hell we can even leave this planet and visit our moon. So much promise. So much pain.
I am always curious to see what happens next. What a wonder it all is. Turbulent and tranquil. It's all the reality tv I ever need.

I couldn't decide whether or not to go see The Punisher this weekend. I know I will end up seeing it if only because I saw the first one years back with Dolph Lundgren and I loved the comic books. But the movie looks like they just didn't get it right. And from what I have heard from critics, that's the consensus. I never expect too much when seeing a comic book translated to the big screen. Anyone ever seen David Hasselhoff as Nick Fury? It's out there. In the late 70's they even did a Captain America on TV about the same time that the Incredible Hulk was on CBS and Spiderman had a few TV specials, and then in about 1991 they tried to do justice to Captain America and made another one, this time starring the son of reclusive author J.D. Salinger. That movie lacked something also. There is a lot of love for these characters, so much so that someone sees how crappy one version is and says, hey I can do it better, or I can make more money on it. But they fall short. The success of Spiderman and semi-success of Daredevil and X-Men have really jump started this whole thing. But to the detriment of some great characters that will just be given a green-light by studios just to cheaply churn out some crap.
I just hope this wakes up the folks at Marvel and they think it through before they decide to sell their next character.