Entropy can not be escaped. Decay and change are just part of this grand and mysterious process we exist in. Bodies age, flowers wither, cities collapse in ruins, stars die, and cd's get scratched. People are always so concerned with finding the right answers or searching for some crutch to provide fulfillment in their lives. I am not too different except I am looking for the questions. Answers can't really be found until we look at the questions that come from inside. And most of those just lead to even more questions. I have met a few lucky people like that. Just talking to them makes me satisfied that my world view is the best way for me to look at things. It may not work for others but they don't have to live with it, I do. Essentially that is all that matters. But it does help me to speak with others and learn other views as well as how those views are developed. It's one of the ways to know where you stand and how to interact with others to avoid colliding in space. Plus it can be amusing too.

I saw Hellboy today. It was a decent movie. Had some good parts and the character of Hellboy was well played by Ron Perlman. I just wish they would have explained a couple things. I'm sure it would have made more sense to me had I read the comic books. But they could have explained more about how the evil Nazi blade guy, the Nazi chick escaped in 1944 and then of course show up in the present time. At least how did the Nazi chick stay young? And how did Rasputin come back from the other side? Oh and just as in Tomb Raider we have some deep underground mystical machinery made hundreds of years ago.
It was good though especially for this genre. You can't expect much. I almost dread to go see the Punisher. I loved the comics and the character is a brooding killer in the mold of Charles Bronson. They should have had Henry Rollins play him though. This Thomas Jane is too small and too Jeff Speakman looking. Which only makes the formula of this movie stand out more than it should. I think people forget when they make movies that have been done dozens of times over the thing that people care more about is character than story. We have seen this story so many times. Make a character we can care about and admire or even fear. Hellboy had a bit of that. That's what made his little quips seem fresh rather than the usual action banter we get in other movies.

Oh and two things before I crank up the music and relax tonight: The post prior to this has nothing to do with any one person but rather more to an ideal that exists in this twistedly romantic soul that gets egged on by having watched Notting Hill the other night and other such movies ( don't even let me watch the Princess Bride) that appeal to that side of me.
The other thing is, Did we lose a war or what? Why the hell do gas prices continue to rise when we occupy a country that can produce enough oil to allow us to pay 20 cents per gallon? I will tell you why. I am not big on conspiracy theories and such but.. here goes.....Sooner or later we had to ease the sanctions on Iraq and that would mean more oil on the market and consequently lower prices. So besides completing some sort of Oedipal task, Bush-Cheney also sought to slow down oil production in the region in two ways. One to slow down the oil production in Iraq and the second to piss off OPEC enough that they would reduce production to teach us a lesson. Either way it keeps American refineries and oil companies making money and can help compel the US government to allow drilling in the Alaskan Wilderness.
Think about it , won't you.

It must be your skin that I'm sinking in / Must be for real cos now I can feel................ It seems like forever since I was last in love, so full of energy and life that youth seems forever and pain exists only when I was not with the person that radiated such love for me. I wonder sometimes if I can ever have that again. Then I wonder if I ever want that again, that is do I want that euphoria of lust/love that causes one to overlook those imperfections that will ultimately drive one insane. One of the bright points of being single really is that you don't have to put up with anyone's bullshit but your own. A house, a wife, kids, a dog, etc. Yah they all sound good, will I ever have them? I don't know. What do I need to compromise, what do I need to work towards. Can I really find someone that embodies trust, faith, intelligence, beauty, devotion, strength, and the rest. Am I too picky? I don't think so. You miss one mistake by a hair and it can only put you on edge even more. But I must admit I miss it all. This hermit lifestyle does fit me well to a point but I miss my chance to nurture and love. There is something rewarding about it. Couldn't love you more / You got a beautiful taste

It seems ages since I last felt that for anyone. I wish there was a rewind button for life, a TIVO if you will. Just go back 10 years and do it right this time. Oh well live and learn they say. I have learned now I just need to live again. Ugh, not so easy when I think of the complications of dealing with others. Maybe it's the beer talking but even this hermit needs to walk among the people from time to time. If only just to remind oneself of the reason such a vow was taken in the first place.

For those of you interested in a new and exciting prospect, Liberal Radio, check out Air America Radio. For years we have heard about the "liberal media" when in fact media is usually moderate to conservative. I am curious to see how well this works out. With people like Janeane Garofalo and Al Franken with their own shows it should be pretty fun. As a fan of the Daily Show and its brand of informative humor I look forward to a long run for this new venture.
The only drawback is of course the 'Right' will actually be able to point out an example of the liberal media. But it may be a dawn of a new era where people no longer feel ashamed to be sensible liberals. And I don't mean the usual tree-hugging wife-swapping liberals or the nutty libertarians. Rather those Americans who are moderate in most terms but believe in civil rights and a free society, while maintaining certain standards. The way Democrats were before the Vietnam war split this country in a profound and radical way.

I wonder though, how long it will take for the FCC to shutdown this new radio network.

The sad thing is that for all of the new stories about Bush and 9/11 he will still probably end up winning the damned election. Richard Clarke has written and spoken about something that has pointed the spotlight back onto Bush and his administration's handling of terrorism and the aftermath of 9/11. But for some of us there isn't much news to what he says. A good deal of his criticisms and events that he points out have actually already been written about. Check out Al Franken's book Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right He details how Sandy Berger tried to impress upon the incoming Bush administration and Condolezza Rice in particular the great threat posed by Islamic fundamentalist terrorism and Al-Queda specifically. As well as Bush's perverse interest in a missile defense shield. This poor sap is all about finishing other works started by other Republican presidents. Namely Reagan and Bush Sr. This obession with Star Wars defense is silly. I would say I have never understood it, but that's not true. I do understand it. Mostly it is about some macho sense of protecting the country and making money for defense contractors.
While I think wasting money on nuclear weapons beyond count is insane and $600 toilet seats are a waste, I didn't mind the idea of a large military. One of the worst things we did was the reduction in American forces and the many base closures. The need to save money was there, but the focus on the 'peace dividend' was a mistake. One of the things that Bush and Rice did get correct was the growing threat of China in taking the place of the old USSR.

For all of the bullshit I don't like about Bush and as much as I agree with Clarke's assessment, I can't for one minute believe that 9/11 could have been prevented. And that is where I feel disgust for Bush. Clarke had the good decency as well as political sense to apologize for the administration's and his failure to stop it. Bush is doing what Clinton did with Monicagate. He hides and denies. When he should have the balls and leadership to do what Clarke did and say "Hey the buck stops here. I just entered office, I was told that terrorism was a major concern, I was worried about the economy, China, etc...We could have done more, we should have done more and I am truly sorry for that." I don't blame him. I don't see how it could have really have been prevented given the circumstances at the time. Even with secure cockpits, skyjackings don't end in such ways. The pilots would have waited for the demand that they fly to Algeria or Cuba like skyjackers are supposed to do.

But I think it is of great importance that once you determine how to limit your risks, every effort should be made to do so. I read recently that there are American troops in Iraq that don't have body armor and their families are buying it from private companies here and sending it to the troops there. It is unconscionable to me that we would commit troops without proper equipment.
I wonder if the Texas Air National Guard has any to spare?