The following is a random thought that occurred to me just now:

my problem is i always try to untie the knot rather than cut it or skip it

i sit there trying to figure it out, following each lead, each string all just to untie it, coaxing and squeezing the knot

I think it was 1991 and we were just out of high school. I used to always go see local bands play and hung out with friends who had bands and therefore was into the local scene. One night we went to see some bands play, I don't even remember who. Thinking back I can remember helping a friend work on his car that day and hoping we'd finish up so I could meet up with my other friends and go see the bands. Then we saw one of his neighbors, a girl from my class and I was talking to her and she suggested we go out. But once we were done with his car, and went by her house I think she had left for somewhere else. She was always cool, sorta cute in that geeky way, smart and probably would have made a good girlfriend. Anyway, so because my friend was taking too long I missed that chance, but I knew of a few hotties from school who would be at the show. So I dragged him there, it was some place in Costa Mesa, I don't remember exactly where, but I do remember that they had a huge section of Newport Blvd closed as they were building Triangle Square.
So we arrived and saw some bands, and I bumped into this other girl from one of my other classes. Very cute, one of those hippie chicks, into things just for the sake of being different. But again, very cute. So I asked her out and gave her my number on a business card for some Taco place, which I had because they had damn good food. We went out once and it wasn't there for her or me either. She was too out of it and into hippie crap for me. For some reason though whenever I hear The Catherine Wheel's "Black Metallic" I think of that night I asked her out amidst the crowd and music.

Life never turns out how you expect it to.

As funny as the show was, and as much as I always rooted for Ross, that last episode of Friends just felt more rushed and hurried than it should have. Oh and it does suck that real life just isn't like that. In real life, tracking your ex-girlfriend/wife/baby's mother to the airport would lead to a restraining order and a listing on the local police's stalker list. Plus Joey had it right, move on.

For lunch we went to the South Coast Plaza and I was thinking back to how different that mall was when I was a kid. It really has become a symbol for the affluence of Orange County. I remember when there weren't that many "upscale" stores there. It was like any other mall with just mom and pop shops and the usual chain stores. Plus they had more food places. The world is ever changing.

Oh and I received yet another picture of George and Laura Bush along with their plea for money and a bunch of propaganda about the Democrat Party. Quite funny stuff actually. Reading it, I can see how easy it would be for some NASCAR dad to get pissed at Kerry and stick with Bush.

Good times.

Hot. Very Hot. No not the weather again, it is cooling a bit. I am talking about Gina Gershon. I remember noticing her in Red Heat a long time ago and damn she just gets hotter with time. I didn't know until about a week ago that we got the Independent Film Channel, and when I got home from work today I happened to notice that Rocked with Gina Gershon was on. It follows her music/publicity tour for the movie Prey for Rock & Roll, which is going for a whole L7 Grrrl Rock thing. It's a short series done in a documentary journal style. So we get to follow her around the country as she plugs the movie and plays music at shows to again promote the movie as well as just have fun. She is a cross between Joan Jett and Janine Lindemulder and at 42 she is as hot as ever. Be sure to watch it if you have the channel and keep some ice water nearby in case it gets too hot.

Hot. Very Hot. Dry Heat. Some wind, not a hot wind like Santa Ana Winds, but not a cool breeze that would make a difference. It was like this last weekend, then in the middle of the week it cooled down for a few days, now it is back again and expected to last at least up to the middle of the week. How am I to get anything accomplished when its this hot? I am sweating like a monkey in a whorehouse. I have lived through weather that is hotter than this, but I expected such heat in Fresno. I went shopping today for a Mother's Day gift, and I wish I had other places to go too. It was refreshing to walk around in nice air-conditioned stores. But my laundry was calling me. And nothing is more fun in this heat than to fold clothes fresh out of the dryer.

First thing when I got up today, I grabbed the newspaper to look through the sales items as usual, and I noticed an article in the LA TIMES regarding U.S. abuses against Iraqi prisoners. Then sure enough I see a similar article online. It just makes me sick to think that this is the kind of crap we allow to go on after we defeat a nation that was not poised to attack us. And even if they did attack us like the Taliban supported Al-Queda, it wouldn't justify America abusing the rights of prisoners of war. Whether you call them enemy combatants or rebels or terrorists or some thug from South Central LA who kills an old lady, we have a higher duty to the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, as well as international laws to behave in a more civilized manner than those we call the enemy. I am not saying don't kick down doors and politely knock if you think Osama is in the house, but once you have people in custody we owe it to ourselves to take the moral high ground and do the right thing. And in the same way that our soldiers are dying to protect us, their negative actions also represent us. When they put their lives on the line for America we owe them our respect. But when they cross a line, they must also be held accountable. And not just the individual soldiers but the ones who lead them and encourage behavior we know to be wrong. But how can we expect American soldiers to treat Iraqis humanely when we have dozens of cases of sexual assaults involving Americans assaulting their own comrades?
While reading this article, it also struck me as very sad how this Iraqi man views women :

"They were trying to humiliate us, break our pride. We are men. It’s OK if they beat me. Beatings don’t hurt us, it’s just a blow. But no one would want their manhood to be shattered,” he said.
“They wanted us to feel as though we were women, the way women feel and this is the worst insult, to feel like a woman,” al-Shweiri said.

I wonder if he will view women's rights in Iraq differently from now on?

While on the subject of justice and two wrongs don't make a right...is something that has bothered me for some time. The white male bashing. For the past decade or so it has been the style to use white men as the butt of jokes in ways that I find offensive. No, please allow me to whine further....Certainly the culture, economics and politics of America have favored white men of certain backgrounds. (as most people tend to forget the prejudices against German immigrants, Irish Catholics, as well as poor or landless white males) And while white men are certainly still in a position of power enough to be able to take a few jokes and barbs, I find that the slinging of such jokes and barbs is unjust. Or more appropriately it is the acceptance or lack of notice given such jokes/barbs that I find offensive. Being all for free speech, say what you will. But I find it sad that people don't see how such things if put on the other foot would be unacceptable.
This movie New York Minute has a tv preview with Eugene Levy and then these two black ladies who call him a cracker. And the use of this racial slur is supposed to draw laughs? Racial slurs of any kind are just wrong. Period. To accept the use of one is the accept the use of them all. How can it be right to make fun or disparage one race but not another? Even these people who walk around and call themselves or their "own people" names are not doing anyone any good. White trash is another term people like to throw around with ignorance of its implications. White trash begs two questions, One-these people aren't up to the high standards of being White? Two-Why do we not add trash to the proper names for other ethnic groups? The answer to the first one is, it's bullshit. The answer to the second one is, we already have disparaging names for just about every other ethnic group.
Obviously the slurs against most other groups have more power and meaning behind them and therefore we are more sensitive to them. But in all fairness shouldn't we move past using any terms that disparage people based on their ethnic background.
Can't we just stick to calling people non race based names, like fuckhead, shitface, asshole...etc?
This message has been brought to you by the number 4 and the letter Q