Well I am back after moving and finally having cable returned to my life. Although I have decided..for now..to keep the tv in the front room, and now I must choose between tv and the pc. I love them both the same, yet at some point every parent must choose. We'll see how long this lasts, I am sure I will eventually break down and reunite the two. The new apartment is feeling good. Nice and quiet and clean. I still have much unpacking and organizing to do, but it is getting there. I will also have to venture forth to the garage and begin to tackle all the stored items that need to be organized once and for all.

Well I am in the middle of moving. Or at least getting ready to. Just about everything is ready to go on the truck tomorrow. And now I must unplug the pc and move that as well. TimeWarner has decided that it will take a whole week to get someone out to the new apt to turn on the cable. So I suppose it will give me time to unpack and get organized. It's so tempting to just keep things in boxes and never look at them until the next move. I can't even imagine how sore I will be tomorrow. Pretty much everything has to be moved all in one day. Which isn't too bad considering I have Monday off and will be able to use that to clean the old place and rest up. Moving is such an incentive to plant roots in one place.

OJ Simpson saying he feels bad for Scott Peterson. I know if I was accused of murdering my wife and unborn child the last thing in the world I would want is a testimonial from OJ Simpson. That is like the kiss of death.

Watching 60 Minutes and they are doing a story on the Biological Clock for women. These people are stupid they think you can give birth in your 40's and even up to 55 years old. And supposedly 90% of professional men think similar things about women's ability to have children. WTF. I learned all this shit when I was in High School. Why don't people know their own bodies? It's like this girl at work , I say girl but she is like 27 and she didnt know that women are born with all the eggs they are ever going to have. Unlike men who make sperm daily and as such have to release it daily.(if we are lucky anyway) Even if a woman's body is capable of having kids into 40's why raise a kid at that age. Its not fair to the kids. Women who have kids in their 40's tend to increase chance of Down's Syndrome and why not adopt instead of taking massive doses of fertility drugs. If I don't have kids by the time I am 35, that's it. I don't want to have to cash my Social Security checks to give my kid money to see a movie.
Oh and if Andy Rooney is showing off his swollen hands, you'd think he'd have the sense to get his fingernails cut. C'mon you can afford a damn manicure.

Well after sleeping most of the day I went to see S.W.A.T. It was pretty good. A little slow at the beginning but had a pretty good last half. Although I can't believe they actually use the line "he's a good cop" It just doesnt get anymore cheezey than that. It was a little disturbing that they kept calling the villian, a Frog. Granted it's not much of an unpopular thing to make fun of the French, but using a slur like that or any slur is still pretty ugly. Especially when for most people it is an obscure slur. Most people don't use the term Limey for the Brits or Frog for the French. Anyhoo the movie was good and had plenty of references to the old TV series. The next TV series that make into a movie should be Land of The Lost. Think about it.

What a day. Just got back from Mexico. Time for sleep. I had fun though, as exhausted as I am. Fun was very much needed after today. Ugh Bush visited the Hyatt hotel in the same complex as our office and protesters were out front on the sidewalks. And then someone made a bomb threat at one of the other buildings in the complex so our office was panicked. Anyhoo, time for bed. Adios.

No power in the Northeast US. A major power outage was bound to happen sooner or later. Though I had figured it would be in the western US like a few years back. When that happened, i think in 96 or so, that wasn't much of a surprise either. In college I had to do a group paper on the CA PUC (Publick Utilities Commission) and the then possible deregulation of the electric industry. It was a shock to learn how messed up our power grids are and how in some instances the loss of one small plant could affect several states. The whole way we generate and deliver power needs an overhaul. I just keep waiting for fuel cell development to progress to the point where we won't need to rely on one single line in the middle of the desert to send power to millions of people in an entire region. Ah well by then our summers will be even hotter thanks to Global Warming, and if you don't believe it exists, ask the British who just had the hottest day in their recorded history.

So Arnold and like a thousand other governor wannabes have joined the circus here in CA. It's such a silly thing that less than a year ago Gov. Davis was re-elected and now suddenly people think he is so terrible he has to be recalled. CA really has some of the lamest voting laws. Between our asinine propositions and this recall I am beginning to think we are really crazy. They seem like great democratic ideas but they are so misused its laughable. As much of a liberal as I am, I like Davis and think he is a decent man and was good as Lt Governor. But he lacks leadership ability and the charisma to have been able to address some major problems that were not his fault. The energy crisis and the state deficit are not his doing and he could not have changed things much. BUT he could have stepped up to the plate and shown the people that he was still at the helm of the ship and would work hard to turn things around. And the qualities that he lacks, are the ones that will allow Arnold to slip in and run CA. Well try anyway. Some business men don't do such a great job at politics because of the whole "can't have your way all the time" and "compromise" realities of governing. In Arnold's case, I think he is bright enough to realize this, but it will be interesting to see how this plays out. I think sheer curiousity will allow him to win. Even though most of his movies in the last 10 years have been absolute crap. Oh and he has that constant smiley-I-tell-jokes-so-I-am-always-happy-facade. That worries me. Reagan had that, it borders on being smug and goofy. Like things are never serious or real. Hell even Clinton acted serious at times. And Bush gets that look that is a cross between being mean and crying. Like some presidential pout.

I need time to digest this whole Arnold running for governor thing. In the meantime we are pleased to bring you the following rant.......
..... What is wrong with people that they don't seem to understand how detrimental stereotypes are? This girl at work asked me and my friend if we saw "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy". Which I haven't as I dont dig reality shows, unless its Cops. She then proceeds to tell us how cool it is because gays have great taste in fashion and they helped this guy with a make-over. I was like WTF is wrong with you? That is such a stereotype, although what is called a positive attribute stereotype, similar to African-Americans can dance great or are great atheletes, or Asians are really smart. I mean if someone created a show where 5 African-Americans took a white man and showed him how to dance, I have a feeling that would be taken as racist, albeit based on the "positive" stereotype.
Anyway...
She instead continued with the usual "some of my best friends...." and the "well it is true that THEY do..." Now I am all for pointing out that most stereotypes begin with some grain of truth but it must be noted that it is then used to paint a generalization of an entire people/group. While some would argue that indeed "gay men have great fashion sense" and use that as a positive point. I feel it necessary to point out that the idea of using a stereotype whether to bolster a positive or negative image is on the whole a negative and dangerous thing.
To praise a group and value them based on the positive stereotype is no different than to shun or ridicule a group based on a negative stereotype. Both marginalize a people based on a generalization. Imagine if people would only choose African-Americans to be on their sports teams, or Asians to be on their uh Math-olympic teams (ok thats a stretch) or only hired gay men to decorate their homes, or ....well I am sure you can get my point. It values people based on a generalization, whether it happens to be true or false in a particular case.
I have no control over Television shows, nor do I expect them to be sensitive enough to see these points. If that were the case then maybe Gay characters on tv(network) would be allowed to be serious. Or maybe Fat people would be allowed to not be funny. Take a look at old movies (before the late 60's), where everything in the movie is serious and somber, and then an African-American actor appears and then the music changes to some goofy ass tune and the comic relief steps in. They do the same with with Fat people and Gay people on TV and in most bland movies.
Just think about it, and listen to people as they hold a stereotype given to them as a badge and you may see just how empty and sad it really is when the stereotyped group accepts it and tries to wear it with pride not realizing they have just bought into the stereotype. And it's a package deal, if you accept the so called positive stereotype, just remember the other side of that is the negative attribute stereotypes, and if other people are allowed to believe the positive stereotypes, I garuntee they will believe the negative ones too.
::::stepping off my soapbox:::::::
Tomorrow's episode --- Arnold for CA Gov...Mandatory push-ups for all CA residents.

Well critics have confirmed what I thought at first about Gigli, this ego driven vehicle for Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck. At first look I thought wow Shanghai Suprise 2, but it must be worse than Sean Penn and Madonna's sad collaboration. Just read this sad review . They seem to have hit it pretty good. As well as realizing that the South Park episode where Cartman's hand as Jennifer Lopez is more entertaining than the real thing. Movie executives really need their heads checked. There is something very annoying about her on screen. Maybe its her voice, or just her attitude. I couldn't stomach the Wedding Planner. Enough should have been enough, yet they keep giving her roles. Granted they are all in shitty movies at this point so it's not like she ruined any good movies yet. But it is only a matter of time before she becomes the weight that ruins an otherwise good movie. She should stick to singing and selling her name to crappy clothes and perfumes.

It's the heat, that is what has kept me away. Well ok it's not HOT but its warmer now. This week highs around 78. I actually went out looking for fans last Monday. No one had any good ones. Just some cheap-ass box fans. So I just had Staples send me two. I had to get two to get the free delivery on an order of 50 bux or more. Anyway, it's great. Yah I could be comfortable without it, but its so much nicer with a fan. Still out looking for an apartment. Found some good places. So we'll see. I really miss owning a home. Granted it was in Fresno. But it was a house and it was beautiful. It will be decades before I can afford a home in So Cal. Unless I want to move wayyy inland and enjoy more heat. Not to mention long ass drives to get anywhere. A friend of mine lives in one of these distant lands, North Corona. The only thing it is famous for is that while driving through it all you can smell is cow shit. Apparently at one time in So Cal we actually used to grow our own food. I remember so many orange groves in Riverside, strawberry fields all over Orange County, corn, etc. Over the years though homes and Walmarts have taken over. Just down the street there is a small field that they used to grow strawberrys and sell them, and now the land has been razed so they can build homes starting in the "Low $700,000's". I dunno about you but if I could afford a home anywhere near $700,000, then hey screw it, low, or high wouldnt matter to me.

Ok, so it's been awhile. I have been sick, and then busy with my computer. Having problems again. This time I am determined to find out where the problem is and fix it. Although right now I am sidetracked as I am just in awe of the beauty of Angelina Jolie. She is talking to Barbara Walters, and damn she is so gorgeous and yet oh so f*cked up. Damaged beyond belief. It's interesting that she can talk about so much of the pain she has caused herself, yet she still doesn't seem to have a full understanding out it. But she certainly is more open and honest than most Performers I have seen. You can just sense that she is quite sincere about what she says and for all the crazy things she does, it doesn't seem to be about making waves and getting attention, as much as just doing as she wants and living a free life. And while I wouldn't suggest everyone cuts themselves, or lives life so free they scarify their bodies, I certainly respect how she explains it. Maybe it doesn't hurt that she is very beautiful too.

I was thinking that for a brief period of time people married for love, and made their choices based on that. Certainly not all people, but for a bried time in the West there was a romantic notion that you should love the person you will spend the rest of your life with. And as divorce rates have risen, and alternatives to marriage have become more commonplace, the value of loving the person you marry has seemed to slip away. It makes sense that if you are going to get divorced sooner or later anyway, or that fidelity in marriage just doesnt exist, then why not get something out of it. Oh and I am not talking about alimony. No, in this new era we have a new breed of arranged marriages and dowry, thanks to Television. Sure its better than marrying off your daughter for a herd of goats, and why not compete to marry a stranger for some money, then just get divorced later. But is this really where we want to go back to? It's not like an out and out Domestic partnership or cohabitation, where the legal and religious contract has been entered into FOREVER. I say hey make those arrangements. But when you enter into a contract before your community, your god(s), and your state, shouldn't that be taken seriously? Granted things happen, people change/grow. But just for the out and out sake of entertainment? My new idea for a tv show is couples who cant have kids, and they compete in games to win babies. Or the other direction, call it Orphanage Olympics, where say 10 orphans, aged 5-7(the next seasons would of course increase the age group) they compete to be adopted by a nice white couple in the suburbs who will ply their new child with toys and money.
Oh I am really onto something. The possibilities are endless.

Stayed home from work today. I really hate to miss work, not because I enjoy it so much, but because there is always so much more to do when I return. That and just the sense that as I am at home, things need my attention at work...I was watching AMC and they are advertising a special on Hollywood and the Muslim World. How Hollywood or rather American films create a certain idea or images of American life, values, culture, etc. It is a good concept, I will be curious if they do it well. I would like to see the comparison made between the objections that Muslims have to American culture and the objections that Conservative American Christians have about American culture. It is so easy for most Americans to wonder why Muslims, or anyone from another culture would object to having American culture shoved down their throats. Yet we have people in this country worry about sex and violence in video games, the media, music. Why shouldnt Muslims have similar objections? I can't imagine that any group of people wants their culture to become subordinate or diluted by another culture. And as it is impossible to just simply put up walls and prevent the spread of another culture, it is possible for each group of people to look at their own culture and determine if it truly represents who they are, and who they wish to be.

Voice is still shot. Just took some Nyquil and in a few minutes will be fast asleep. I didn't take any last night and didn't get a good night's sleep. Dreamt a lot and woke up every couple hours. Poor sleep is usually when I actually remember my dreams. Otherwise, I almost never do unless its one of a few of my recurring nightmares. But being nearly emotionally dead for almost a year or more, I dont have nightmares anymore. I wanted to focus on cleaning the garage again this weekend. I will have even more to do next weekend. I have already begun the preliminary search for an apartment. Time for bed.

Not feeling well today. All this week I have felt a sore throat developing and by mid Friday my voice was going. Against my better judgment, I went out with my friend to a BBQ with some of his friends in Irvine. Of course drinking was involved and during the course of the night, my talkative nature and the alcohol conspired to deprive me of my voice. My friend wanted to leave, and I was more than tempted to stay considering that a very hot woman came over, but as I was under the impression that she was the girlfriend of one of the hosts, I decided it was best for me to get home and rest. Of course on the way back to my car, Alex told me she was single. Oh well, she was smoking and smoking out. Major turn-offs for me anyway. So on my way home I decided to see where Jason was. He and a friend of ours were in Newport Beach, so instead of going home, I went over there to this nice lil bar we have been to before. It was packed with people. Lots of hot chicks though, and of course the usual HB/NB guys, the skater/surfer cool dude tude's with thier baseball caps askew. WTF is up with that anyway? I have never seen so many drunk chicks though. Total lack of control. One of which, came over and brought us some shots. Well ok she brought it over for Jason, but by then he had stopped drinking so it was left to me to be polite and drink it. Of course, she then found out Jason is a police officer and her attention was from then focused on him. So Tony and I had to talk about his upcoming move to Florida. Which was why we were out. Live it up before leaving type thing. Poor guy, I would rather risk the very occasional earthquake instead of the more common Hurricane.
Usually I lose my voice in Spring or Fall. This is something that tends to happen every year or so, since I was in junior high.

Woke up early this morning and went to the movies to watch The Hulk. It was showing at 9:30 am. I figured most people would be at church, especially with their obnoxious kids. I was half right. It was not that busy but there were still more kids than I would have thought would be at the movies that early on a Sunday. The movie was ok. I had no major expectations. It was longer than it should have been, and was making me angry at some of the story. It was interesting that Ang Lee used the comic book panels to tell the story. It was a nice touch. After that went to buy some more storage boxes and spent a little bit of time on the garage project. It really will take me the whole month of July to get it to the point I need it so that I can move easily. Then once I move I can really organize and sort through things.

mmmm BBQ. Had a nice lil bbq today for dinner. It's time for a new grill though. Im thinking when I move I'll buy the Char-King...."taste the meat not the heat" Anyway, it's not summer unless there is bbq and sunshine. Didn't have any beers today, as last night was quite enough drinking for me for a while. But in the midst of it all I had time to think of many things.

Some days it just doesnt pay to get out of bed.

What a week. This one has been dragging and filled with tons of mundane crap, as well as the usual nonsense from the higher-ups. Spent most of the week reading and taking my mind off of things at work. I will be busy tomorrow, laundry, going to buy some storage boxes and get an early start on moving. Our lease is up on September 1st, so Jason and I will be finding our own place. I Just hope we find one with a garage, it's so nice having my things out of the way. Will probably do some Father's Day shopping too. More than likely will get a tv tuner card for my dad's computer. Almost got one for myself, but that would mean another cable box, and there's not much point in that. Especially if I am moving. It's going to be a pain to move my desk. Not looking forward to that. Though it will be good to move to a new place and have more space. Ohh better go Fastlane repeats are on...and the second repeat is where Tiffani Theisen infiltrates a ring of lesbian robbers...need I say more?

So according to this news item I read on my AOL welcome screen, this woman in Florida wants to wear her veil for her drivers license photo. And she is arguing that her religion prohibits her from showing her face or having it photographed. WTF. So can I wear a ski mask for my next DMV photo? Seriously....W T F. And if religion is her argument.....I say fine follow your religion and follow it like they do in Saudi Arabia.....women cant drive.

...why do I even try...So I tell the corp pres what my concerns are and ask about the Money...and he says well if you are serious about the offer then I will have to think about it...WHAT! You dickweed Mofo. What the hell is that shit about? Its not like this was my bright idea. His lame-ass way of negotiating. He said "well whatever it is, its more than you make now". Well duh. But one dollar more wont make it worth my time. I could tell him that I would put effort into my new position, and that any amount of effort would be more than I put in now. Jackass.

Well I was officially offered the new position heading up an new department in the company. Monday I will give the pres. my answer, or rather begin to talk about money and the problems I already see, and pretty much know I will get stuck with. Oh I plan on giving him a list of my concerns about what I dont like about the department the way he wants it set up. There are so many pitfalls that he has built into this its unreal. And thats not even considering that for the first 3-5 months I will still do my current job as I train and supervise my future replacement(and thats assuming they hire one within...oh the next 2 months). I think I can imagine what Jesus must have felt like (oh and I mean this in the non-sacrilegious way)...I am given a task and I pretty much have no choice and in the end I know it will end bad for me. And we are also getting a general mangager soon, so everything in the headquarters will change anyway. I was just hoping to be around to watch it happen and perhaps climb up through the chaos that is bound to follow. But perhaps it is best that I will be placed in my own realm before that happens. Like a fallout shelter.

So Friday, I was dragged into another meeting with the corp. pres. and given the distinct impresion that this new department is going to be offered to me. Still no direct offer, which is good. But now its some kind of sick waiting game. Oh well. In the meantime, I have been getting organized at home. Might even buy another storage rack for the garage. I have to get more of those storage bins too. My dad came down to visit on Saturday, and then left today to pick up his cousin from NY. It's funny how different we get along now. I am happy about it. I do need to get away from work and spend more time with my family and friends, as well as time for myself.

Why do these things happen to me? I try my best to stay away from our corporate president and all of Thursday and Friday he had me sit in with him and some others to brainstorm for a new division. And from what he has said, he wants me to head it up. Which is the last thing I want to do. He changes his mind constantly, when he actually makes a decision, is hypercritical, and never fully explains what his expectations are. So anyone who takes a position directly under his control, especially that he has a keen interest in....those people always end up being draggd over hot coals, boiled in oil and subjected to his inane and pompous rants. Oh and after going through all that they are usually screwed over by him in some way. I have once before rejected one of these offers. And this will come with a bigger salary, so I may just have to walk the plank and hope for the best.

Time really has gone by so quickly the past few months. Summer is right around the corner. I am looking forward to it. I plan on spending more time going away on the weekends and taking mini-vacations. As well as going on a good 5 day vacation twice a year.

Surprisingly, my absence of recent blogs means that I have been busy and having some type of social life. That and what time I spend on the computer lately has been about burning CD's and listening to music more. Though I should also be doing some filing and cleaning. My desk is a mess. I would love to have a nice two bedroom apartment, then I could have an office where I could be more organized and have everything I need in one place. Which reminds me, I need to clean out some things in the garage. I can't find some audio tapes, and I want to convert some of them to WAV or MP3 format, before the tapes fall apart. Mostly music from old friends when I used to hang out with musicians and arty types. Seems like every weekend one of our friends' would be playing somewhere. As soon as I got into a steady relationship I skipped that scene and allowed my life to follow someone elses schedule and patterns. Something which I regret to a degree. But it was one of life's lessons, and I have always been pretty good about learning from them. I plan on spending this weekend getting more organized. That way I can really goof off more on the weekdays after work. Its so nice to come home from work and its still sunny out. Makes me want to go out after work, ooooh like happy hour....mmmmm beer.

Well, this week is over. Another short one too. I had a good time with my family over the Easter weekend. And had a productive work week too. Although I can't figure out what is going on in the world. SARS---Big deal. It hasnt killed that many people, and the media has everyone running around with masks on. Then we have Sen Rick Santorum....ugh where to begin? It's just gotten out of hand. The man obviously doesnt approve of homosexuals, yet he has to pussyfoot around and say he doesnt have a problem with homosexuals, just with homosexual acts. Hell man, just come out and say it. If you believe it, then say it. Just say, you don't like gays. Like I am going to say..."I have no problem with Republicans...just the way they act"...Hell, I dont like Republicans...Of course I don't much like these liberal Democratic nut-jobs calling for Santorums blood. The man was talking about the legal ramifications (no pun intended) of the sweeping protection privacy laws would allow. And when he was saying that allowing homosexual acts would also mean allowing bigamy or polygamy, adultery, or even incest, he meant that these are "traditionally" considered wrong, much as homosexuality is, and that socially they confilict with a society's norms that tend to promote and protect monogamous child-bearing marriages. And you know what? I say fine, who cares, if a man or woman wants to marry multiple partners, and everyone consents, go for it. I say if we are talking about situations involving consenting adults who know what is going on, have at it. And keep the government out of it. I have a feeling society is already falling apart and if that is the direction we wish to go, then so be it, bring on the Morlocks.

It's amazing that such a short week, turned out to feel longer. Got back from Mexico Monday, took half of Wednesday off and I have this Monday after Easter off too. Though I will likely be in touch with work as we open a new office in Atlanta Tuesday, and I am sure I'll be getting calls all day about what else they need. I am looking forward to spending time with family this weekend. Though I sure as hell would love to go back to Mexico. Still can't believe how much fun I had. Ahhhh memories. Well I could go on about that weekend. But I wont. Suffice it to say it was great. Now I have to plan going to Las Vegas this summer.

It's amazing that such a short week, turned out to feel longer. Got back from Mexico Monday, took half of Wednesday off and I have this Monday after Easter off too. Though I will likely be in touch with work as we open a new office in Atlanta Tuesday, and I am sure I'll be getting calls all day about what else they need. I am looking forward to spending time with family this weekend. Though I sure as hell would love to go back to Mexico. Still can't believe how much fun I had. Ahhhh memories. Well I could go on about that weekend. But I wont. Suffice it to say it was great. Now I have to plan going to Las Vegas this summer.

Ugh. Just checked my work email to discover more reasons to hate work. They are getting out of hand with their whole timeclock issues. It's sad. I asked my direct boss, the operations director for half day today to go to my best friend's graduation from the police academy and it was approved. Now I read some lame-ass email from our finance manager (a person who by the way uses the term "irregardless") telling everyone that verbally asking for half day doesnt do it. WTF, dont tell me, tell him. Get your freekin policies straight then move forward. People really piss me off. After watching my best friend begin a new career and take up serving the public interest, I really am motivated to get back to doing something more meaningful for work. Money just doesnt make up for making a difference.

ahhhh Mexico. Got back home late Monday night. Finally feel rested and recovered. Had a hell of a lot of fun. Drinking, dancing, walking around, getting some sun and well having fun ;) I really needed to relax and enjoy a few days of fun and distraction.

Oh, in case you thought I forgot about the War, I didnt. Reading through the latest issue of TIME, I see a picture that symbolizes exactly what (most) protestors were taking to the streets for...a picture of a 12 year-old Iraqi boy with no arms, and severe burns on his body. Its right there in TIME and no matter how "evil" Saddam was or how many thousands of innocent Iraqis he may have tortured or killed if we didnt stop him...It doesnt matter, because my taxes paid for the bomb that maimed this boy and killed his entire family. And looking online for a link to this picture, I see a picture of a coffin with an American flag on it, the first one I have seen yet, my taxes paid to put that young Marine in that coffin also. So for all the celebrating being done today, I think of the price of it all, and what we still have to accomplish to ensure it was worth it.

What a nice day. One of our vendors same by today with sandwhiches for the office, and on his way out, gave me some gift certificates to California Pizza Kitchen...mmmmm pizza. Nothing makes me happier than free stuff from vendors. It really makes it all worthwhile. Ok not everything, but it sure makes the day more tolerable and me less likely to leave work early. Although, I do plan on skipping work Monday for the Mexico trip this weekend. I am watching the Simpsons right now, its the one where Lisa ruins Homer's BBQ...well she sends the roast pig flying and I just realized the episode where Lisa decides to live in a tree to keep it from being cut down, at the end of that one the tree/log goes into the sea and just keeps going much like the pig does at the end of this episode. I dunno, I just find that interesting, and now I want to find out if there are other episodes where objects just keep going at the end...Ok so I have too much time on my hands. Excise me if my brain just works that way.

Oh happy news....ok well Im a jerk for being happy about it, but Jennifer Garner is breaking up with her husband. Ah how sad, yah. But it's really for the best. After all....blah blah. Ok, so I still have no chance with her, and I probably wouldnt like her personally anyway, but its just nice to know the option is there...Listen I can choose to believe its an option if I want to. So lets not rain on my parade just now, and I wont burst whatever bubbles keep you waking up each morning. Deal?

Who the hell are these journalists who are complaining and acting indignant about journalists dying in this War? Thousands of Iraqi soldiers dead, thousands of Iraqi civilians wounded, over a hundred US/UK troops killed....and a handful of journalists killed creates this massive outcry of criticism...Is this still Earth? Like the US military is going to take deliberate aim at journalists with the inent to kill them? At least the Iraqi civilians live there, the soldiers on both sides are following orders...these damn journalists CHOOSE to be in the middle of a war zone. An Australian journalist is killed in a suicide bombing and you dont hear any huge outcry by Al-Jezeera about it...nooo. Not til one of their journalists are dead, then they cry foul. I wish I could just go live in a bunker somewhere and never come out to hear about this crazy place and screwed up priorities.

Went to Office Depot today, and got a good deal on blank CD's, Buy 100pk get 100pk free plus 2 25pk of slim jewel cases free. So I really have to burn more music. Not that I would ever violate a copyright.... uhm, anyhoo...So the War is progressing rather well. Looks like the major fighting should be over in the next week or so. I am glad that I have been hearing from the polls that most Americans think the real tough part is ahead. Just sucks that the Bush Admin, doesnt want to play nice with the UN. Whatever conservatives may think about the UN, I hope they have brains enough to realize we need the UN's involvement to help legitimize what we do there. ..And who decided to make a series of Tremors? I really need to get into the entertainment bizniz.

Whheeeeee well I just made reservations for a weekend in Mexico, Rosorito Beach to be exact...going with a couple friends from work. Should be a lot of fun. I am going as the voice of wisdom and reason...basically to keep them out of a Mexican jail. Course with my luck they will just goad me into acting more like they do, and then the trouble will really begin. Really looking forward to it though, havent had a nice getaway since New York last June. All part of my new way of living. Enjoy life.

Ah Sunday night, new episodes of some of my favorite shows. Its a great way to end a nice day. Did my usual laundry and lunch, plus banking and a few other errands. I probably should have gotten my hair cut. After really thinking about it, I dont want to grow it out. But I will keep it longish. It's supposed to get cooler this week, which will be welcome after this warm weekend. It was nice, but it made me wish I had summers off again so I could just sit at the beach all day. Oh well, maybe next year if all goes well. So as much as I love Alias, its starting to get old with the disobeying orders and going on unauthorized missions sorta thing. Which really surprises me because the writing is usually pretty good. But now I think they are usuing tried and true formulas which change from tried to tired. But the suspense and action do compensate. Oh and of course Jennifer Garner.

It was a very hot day today. In the high 80's. It wasnt too bad at home, nice ocean breeze to cool things down, but I went inland a bit to go to the movies, and I swear it felt like the middle of summer more than the beginning of spring. I wasnt much surprised by the suicide bombing in Iraq today at a checkpoint. Its the occupation that will be tough. When people talk of a "new Marshall Plan" or compare rebuilding Iraq to Japan and Germany after WWII....they tend to forget that the people of Japan and Germany had been at war for over 5 years, and by the time the Allies/US occupied them, they had enough. As I said before, we can look forward to the kind of problems the Israelis face. The whole idea that just because the people hate Saddam means they will embrace us is insane. Its funny because for so many years the Republicans have screamed against 'nation building' and 'policing the world'. And yet here we are......Ah well, I will watch South Park and feel much better. Jimmy and Timmy join the Crips, thinking its for handicap people....funny stuff. Was thinking the other how much fun it would be to give Crank Yankers our corporate presidents phone number. The other day he had a sandwich and left it out, it stayed out in the kitchen for two days, so I put it on his desk. It felt so good. I heard from someone that he wasnt happy about it when he actually had to throw it away himself. The lazy bastard. I have seen him do this before. It gets old. And its worse when he makes coffee, god what a mess he makes. Then always leaves his dirty dishes around. I have already thought about what to do on Tuesday...April 1st. Ah how I love a good April Fools Day joke......

I am voting for General Wesley Clark if he runs...I wish he would anchor the latenight CNN news and not Aaron Brown...I feel so bad for these people who lose family in the War and have some dip-shit anchor asking them lame questions. Obviously the family agrees to an interview to honor the memory of the ones lost and to keep that memory alive and to share it with others. But why the hell cant the anchors stop being so damned stupid?....Ok enough of that.....Feel tired today, weather is getting warmer, we are supposed to have Santa Ana winds tomorrow and Saturday....ugh. Always dry and hot, and makes me sneeze, not a lot of fun. Normally we get ocean breezes from west to east, but the Santa Ana winds blow from the south up against the Santa Ana mountains and then blows east to west....I am looking forward to this weekend, its been one of those weeks.

It's not that I only get my news from Comedy Central's Daily Show with John Stewart...it's just that I like the spin they put on it. And their coverage of the War in Iraq has been great. Its a less paranoid version of some of what Michael Moore would think. I certainly dont think this is some great conspiracy, but c'mon Haliburton, just got a contract to rebuild oil pipelines in Iraq. And while it doesnt have to result in some federal investigation, it is nice to see that some people at least raise a few eyebrows about it. Any....listen to the news and every attack by Iraqi's is not an attack its an "ambush". Like somehow they arent supposed to do that. Although the other dirty tricks they use, will only result in US forces showing less mercy and kindness. ....It still amazes me how the Media keeps saying that there are 'setbacks' and tougher resistance than expected. I cant imagine that the Pentagon didnt expect even more resistance. Invading and securing a country of 24 million people can't be easy and accomplished in a week or two. The fact that we, and yes I think of it as we.., the fact that we are so damn close to Baghdad is a testament to our well trained and well equipped armed forces. Before this started, it was my opinion that going to war and potentially sacrificing American lives to get Saddam was not worth it. It wouldnt have been my decision if I was the president....yet it's been decided by the president..fundamentalist-narrow-minded-cowboy that he is.....And now that we are there it would be nice if protestors would write themselves a reminder to VOTE during elections in the first place. And I know most of them didnt vote in 2000. How stupid can they be? Yah, I was against GOING to war...but once we have committed forces, and worse, lost American lives over it, Damn if we are going to sign a truce, and come back home for nothing. And cant't the media just shut up and stop reporting long enough to think. I HATE Aaron Brown on CNN. That schmuck is so freekin stupid. I cant stand him. Only thing worse on CNN is Larry King. That cadaver is even more annoying......
....Oh and as much as Bush#2 is anti-UN I hope he has the sense to allow the UN more of a role in rebuilding Iraq. That is the only way we can gain some credibility and more important....UN peacekeepers. Hopefully from Pakistan....Why? You ask....Because take a look at Palestine or worse, Lebanon in the 80's. The last thing we need is US soldiers occupying Iraq. We will have more suicide bombers trying to take out US positions and personnel. Pakistan is well known for its peacekeeping forces...and they are Muslim...albeit not Arabs...but they would not face the kind of violent opposition that US men and women would.That is where the real risks lie....Just think about it...it makes sense. More sense than HUGE tax cuts and increased spending while the government runs in the red.....damn cowboy.

Well I wish I didnt have to mention the War in Iraq, but its difficult to avoid thinking of it for more than a few hours. Although watching The Princess Bride on cable was quite a nice break from hearing about the war. That is one of my all-time favorite movies. Excellent book too. Though you get more of the emotional impact from the movie and the theme of true love...as mythical as that is. But I was able to not think about the war for a bit. Looks like there are protests in every country now. Its really sad, how Bush#2 has no concept of P.R., Sprite is full of shit, because Image does count. And right now we have a bad image to the eyes of the world. And blah blah all you want about Terror or Saddam, or protecting America...we have gone about it the wrong way. Sure sometimes you have to do the right thing no matter what others think...but we dont live in a vacuum. We live in a world where we have to deal with other nations and their people. And pissing them off to such an extent is just bad for our national interests. Oh and can they stop calling it a Coalition? The USA and the UK...DO NOT qualify as a coalition anymore than Ringo and Paul are the Beatles. With the coalition and Axis, I think that Bush#2 didnt do so well in school. He's always grabbing these terms to create some link to the past. What Bush#2 really needs is to get drunk, do a few lines and lighten up like he used to.

Ok, so we have begun the conquest of Iraq.....Now sure I think our motives....well not "ours" as in mine or maybe yours, but rather Bush #2's motives.....I think the motives really are based on revenge and hatred agasint Saddam, as well as making Daddy Bush #1 proud. I mean I know that a lot of my life has been guided by making my parents proud and to gain and keep their acceptance..as well as the inheritance...anyway.....So Bush#2's motives are also, a true desire to keep America safe...yah I dont like him, but I think he believes he is doing what is best for America, I dont doubt that, but we also have Oil. The fact that rebuilding Iraq contracts are going to be given to his contributors is obviously a factor......But my main point here is whatever I think about his motives, and the fact that I think we shouldnt be starting a war......I think that since the decision was made to take over Iraq last summer, and make no mistake, it was well decided and written in stone this would happen during the summer. Everything else has just been leading to this.......Anyway, its been decided, lets do it, do it right, and prevail. Im not so against it that I will march, and once the fighting starts I'll be damned if I want to see anything other than total victory with minimum loss of life...on both sides.
The rebuilding process will be long and tough. Especially when a year from now people grow weary and we dont completely instil in the Iraqi people the ideals of democracy. Afghanistan is a prime example...after the Soviets left the US should have done more to help them rebuild, instead we left the door open for the Taliban. I just dont want to see the same shit again, with the US putting in an unstable puppet, then walking away as reactionary and fundamentalists revolt and we end up with a regime worse than Saddam.
Well, I hope all goes well.

So I am thinking that its time we just get on with this war, take over Iraq, give out those fat contracts to Bush's Buddies to rebuild the very same things we will bomb, and get gas prices back down to the low prices we demand. All this waiting and back and forth crap is silly. The decision was made in the summer, the rest is just a pretense so we dont look like war mongers. Bush #1 got away with it in Panama, so its only likely that Bush #2 thinks it will be a cakewalk....

Watching 'Entropy'...best part of the movie is just the idea of marrying a complete stranger. Not like Married by America...Its sad how they call it reality TV when there is nothing real about ANY of those shows, with the exception of COPS, hell most times I doubt the News is real. Anyhoo, so the guy in the movie meets this chick at a party, and decides they should just get married and see how it works from there. I think its a brilliant idea. Completely nutty but brilliant at the same time. By the way, its not the main story line it the movie, just something I have always liked about it. Although he married a chick who sucks her thumb and holds her 'raggie' LOL. My ex used to have her childhood blanket, god it was awful, that was a raggie. This movie also employs the use of a talking cat who smokes. Which brings to mind 'Ruben & Ed' with Cripsin Glover.Oh yah cant wait to see Willard. That is one freeeeky dude. The movie involves his quest to bury his dead cat, who used to water ski and as he likes to brag, could eat a whole watermelon. If you can ever find it, rent it. You'll be sorry and glad u did at the same time.

Ok, so the new pc is running smoothly now. Just need to add a case fan because the video card is heating things up. I am so freekin sick of hearing about Michael Jackson. I dont give a damn if he throws his kid from a balcony or takes a bath in Clorox. Lets just try and concentrate on the real important issues today, The O.J. errr I mean Robert Blake trial. Few weeks ago I ranted about how people cling to their lies, well this man has wrapped himself so tightly with his, you'd think Martha Stewart gift wrapped the poor slob.

Well, my new computer arrived. My roommate was cool enough to lend me his XP disc, and today I took it for a test drive. Looks and runs great, especially for the deal I got. More than likely I will upgrade the sound and video card within the next 6months. But I am in no hurry. I have to figure out what to do about having two computers. I dont have enough room to run them side by side like my roommate does, and if I just move my spare hard drive from the old one to the new one, then I can get rid of the old Emachine. Its still a great pc, it just doesnt have the speed and capacity for the fun stuff.....
......Nice early day for me. Dropped the boss off at the airport, and just went home from there. Which gives me time to do some cleaning before my father comes to visit. I havent seen him since Christmas, which I kinda feel bad about not visiting the folks more often. When I was teaching I used to have much more time to take mini-vacations. Of course now I have more money to take bigger vacations. Should be able to take a trip to New York by May and might still be able to head over to Spain by September. I just need to manage my time better and I could even get to travel to some of our other offices around the country. Then I can be like one of those Lifetime movie guys who has a families in like 6 different cities.

It strikes me as funny sometimes just how stupid people can be. It almost seems like they put a lot of effort into it. As though stupidity was a badge and they wear it proudly. I prefer honesty stupidity over dishonest stupidity though. Like when people lie to you and yet you know for certain what the truth is, and yet they still cling to their lies like a warm blanket. And there is no shortage of these people. Not that intelligent people are any better, just as many of them are ruled by greed, selfishness, immaturity and other such flaws....Yah I'm in one of those moods. At times I feel surrounded by these people.....as well South Park will make it seem better.

Went to the movies and saw Daredevil. Was suprisingly better than I thought it would be. And of course Jennifer Garner was superhot in it. Finalized my purchase of a new computer on ebay. Was a pretty good deal, consulted a couple friends of mine who have put systems together and they both agreed it was a great buy. Now I can hardly wait to get it and try it out. Will prolly have to put in a different sound card though. That is really the only thing against it. But at that price, paying for a sound card is no big deal. Can probably find the one I want on ebay. I am also in a great mood today, not like a happy mood, but a great mood in that I am motivated and getting some things done at work and at home. No one will ever take care of you except yourself.

Beautiful rainy day today. Nothing makes me quite as happy as rain. Days like this I miss being a kid and going to Disneyland on a day like this. No lines, just run through the rides over and over. Work is going well, accomplished so much last week, had about 3 hours to kill doing nothing today. Course, I would have actually liked to get more work done. Mostly so I can do nothing on Friday. Yanno spend a romantic Valentines day alone with myself. Course Daredevil comes out Friday. So I may have to go see that. Jennifer Garner as Elektra...mmmmm. Movie will prolly be lame though. Ah well at least there will be some cool trailers to see.

what can I say, its been a very busy week. Got a ton of work finished this week. Hell today I finished a whole weeks worth in a day. Another good episode of Fastlane tonight. Also watched Black Hawk Down. That is such a good movie, just watching it makes me wonder what is going to happen during Bush War II. Lots of American and Iraqi's killing each other. Major destabilization, and tons of bad international p.r. Yah, I know I keep talking about it, it would be easier if it had unfolded quicker. But this drawn out mess, isnt being drawn out because we wanted it that way, and regardless of what the UN finds or dont finds, the US will attack with or without the greenlight from the UN or most of our allies.....

well work sucks. nothing new there. Some days its even a wonder I dont quit. And yet I have my fun there too. I spread my subversive message like a virus and do my best to breed rebellion. Workers of the world....Get back to Work! Ah who am I kidding, with my sense of responsibilty and work ethics I couldnt lead a workers revolution. But damn its fun to set it in motion and watch the action. I should build a shrine to Loki on my monitor at work. Every now and then I send the boss junk mail and links through websites. Just to bug him. hahah....if you want to do the same check out www.funnyjunk.com for lots of lame crap, but a few gems of fun....especially You kicked my dog and Arnold prank calls.

..another Alias Sunday...and another hot scene with Jennifer Garner...this time a nice wet bikini. And yes again a good story-line with action. They even through in a lil Han Solo moment when Ethan Hawkes character was blinded but shot at a guy anyway. Speaking of Han Solo, when in the F*ck is George Lucas going to release the other Star Wars films on DVD? What is he waiting for? Probably until the first 3 episodes are out and have gone into a box set. Then wait about 2 years then come out with a box set of all 6 films. Cant decide if I want to see Daredevil, it has Jennifer Garner, but then we have Mrs. Ben Damon Lopez in it. But Daredevil was an interesting comic, yet its always a gamble with comics going to movies.

...just got back from the gym. early work out is much better than late at night. Maybe I'll try tuesday morning for a workout before work. Zoolander is on tv. Ben Stiller is funny, but this movie has SNL contamination all over it.

...my head hurts. its stress again. i really need a vacation. I wanted to just drive down to Mexico today, drink beers and eat chips and salsa on a beach somewhere. Instead I went to the grocery store and stared at all the beers, until I decided to skip it and just get some food and go home. Didnt want to drink myself into a stupor this evening...ok thats not true, I did, but I decided not to. Drinking at home alone would be sad. And drinking out in a bar would only get me slapped in the face or a DUI , and I dont need either. Burned some incense and just sat and meditated for a bit. That helped, but still feel tense. Much better than yesterday, felt very angry. And I am not the type to get angry often, and when I do, I dont get physically violent. And certainly wouldnt hurt anyone I care for. But it was a boiling feeling. Talking about it with Cheyenne helped a lot. Its good to have someone close you can talk to. It helps to write too. Though not as much fun as drinking your problems away...

Space shuttle....what a tragedy. 7 astronauts, all dead. And the families just watching it fall. And with one of them being an Israeli, you can only imagine what will follow. Assholes who hate Israel will jump on this. And then we have the long investigations into how this happened. Just awful. I remember as a kid, we were in school when the first shuttle went up, and all the classrooms had gathered to watch it on tv. Things will slow down, but I would hate to see a long break in NASA activities.

What a day. So glad the weekend is here and that I got paid today. Seems like people just cant get over themselves sometimes. Dont they ever realize that they arent the most important being with the most important things to do in this world? I see these people when they drive, no sense of anyone else on the road. At work, no sense that other people have things to do as well. I know its just the way they are. Selfish. And they have a right to be. But they also cant expect me to like it or to put up with it. Course, I prefer it when people underestimate me. T.R. really had the right idea about walking softly and carrying a big stick. Anyhoo. Its going to be a relaxing weekend. I plan on working in the garage and pulling out some books and papers and organzing them. I am such a pack rat. I have biology notes from my freshman year in high school. When I first moved back here, I still had PC games from our old 8086 back when DOS 5.0 was the way and you were lucky if your graphics card and monitor had 4 colors. I held on to them for sentiments sake. But I made progress and was able to throw em away. Though I will hang on to our old Atari 2600 heheh.

Well some asshole at work hasnt come in the past two days and now his work is being divided among several of us. And I had no clue what he was doing or how. Yet now I have to manage his crap. I cant stand people who dont take care of their responsibilities. At least have the balls to call in and quit.Ugh...But if I pull through and help out the boss until they hire someone new, I will have moved that much closer to more money in March. Always climbing one branch higher in the tree for my share of the bananas....ah how far we have evolved.

Seems like this week has gone by fast, and yet its only Wednesday. I could use a vacation, I have been thinking of going on a cruise or to some tropical island. Hell at the very least I should drive up the coast and visit my folks. Sit on their patio, read a book and look at the ocean, with the sun on my face. Ah how I envy them. One day that will be my life. Until then work and plan.

Home at a decent hour for a change, and in plenty of time to watch President Bush #2 make his "golly gee i dont wanna have to go to war, but Saddam is a bad man and started it first" speech. Oh and lets not forget about the Big Tax Cut. Gotta make the case for that. I cant wait to hear how he can justify deficit spending and increasing the national debt all in a desperate effort to jump start the economy.....poor kid, he should never have stopped drinking.

another long day, busy at work and then busy working out. I think in a couple weeks we will try to start working out in the morning before work. I really hate losing the rest of my day, and getting home after eleven isnt fun. So it means another night wound up and restless. Ah well I can catch up on my reading...laterz

.....Alias was good tonight...not just Jennifer Garner in lingere, but the twists in the story-line and the action..wow. That show just rocks. During summers when I was a kid, I used to love watching Mission Impossible. The ones with Leonard Nimoy were always good. He was the master of disguise.I was really excited when they remade the tv show in the late 80's, but it just didnt catch. I keep seeing these ads for the new Dragnet, but I dont know, it looks like LAPD Blue to me. Joe Friday, was tough and gruff but he was a straight arrow. The whole roughing up suspects thing just didnt happen. Of course back then he could just threaten some punk with 3 years in jail, and they would usually crack. These days that wouldnt work on anyone but some kid shoplifting.

It was such a beautiful day today, it was in the low 80's though it felt like mid 70's. Put on some shorts and sandals and went out to do laundry and get a sandwich from the deli next door. The sandwich was good, but the pickles they put on the side...yuck...they were not even pickled long...I have excellent senses, and very few things get past me, and I could tell just by the taste that it was still a cucumber....I call that premature pickling..... While I was folding laundry I watched Fools Rush In, Salma is such a goddess. The movie is funny and sweet, but with Salma in it, it really gets to me. Between that and the movie Entropy I am determined to just get married in Vegas to someone I hardly know. Course she will have to be hot.

Sometimes it would be nice to just shut off and not think for awhile. Can't seem to do it though, unless I meditate and try to relax...and I cant seem to relax lately. Which is probably best, I need to stay active and motivated. That way I can reorganize things at work...among other things.

Another busy day. My Staples rep called and invited me to a LA Kings game, courtesy of Staples. I am really excited about that. I haven't been to a hockey game since I lived in Fresno. So it should be a lot of fun. Invited my friend Eric to go. There will even be a little party before the game. It's about time I get some good free stuff.

TUESDAY---its late, and I should go to bed, but too wired. Mentally drained though, spent lots of time at work again, then worked out. Didn't get home until after 10 then hopped in the shower, and as I was getting out phone was ringing. It's nice to have someone to talk to at the end of my day, or night. I dont even care what I missed on TV tonight. It's just not as important as taking care of myself and hanging out with my friends. Thats what a VCR is for. But I would like to get home earlier so I can eat dinner. Will probably just have some juice and then go to bed. I can update my Quicken file tomorrow and pay my bills then. Too out of it to think...

a friend of mine emailed to let me know she won two free tickets to a Rolling Stones concert to raise awareness for global warming. And it just so happens my mom emailed a link to win a dream home. So I figured why not take a chance. Would be nice to win a dream home, retire and live my life in peace and quiet. I see lots of contests online, I am sure most of them are just to grab email addresses and crap like that. But you never know what life has in store for us.

...couldnt decide this morning which Sunday morning talk-fest to watch. All spouting the same crap. Nothing like some mindless entertainment to distract me from all this. Watched Triple X. Was better than I had thought, but still pretty silly. Asia Argento has a smokin lil body, as well as the chick who dances for Vin, makes me want to be an International Man of Mystery.... Was funny it began and ended like a Bond film. I knew I should have gone to film school. I could have been the next Roger Corman...

...reading about peoples thoughts on the Second Bush War. Amazing how many people miss the big picture. Bush #1 was smarter than his son. As least Bush#1 knew enough about international relations to know that we need the cooperation of Arab and Islamic Nations. And the first Persian Gulf war was about pushing Saddam out of Kuwait, not meddling in the affairs of other nations or trying to overthrow a dictator. Absolutely amazing that Bush #2 has such a hard-on for war that he disregards what is best for America. Find Bin Laden first. Then lets talk about Saddam. Who will replace Saddam? IF we choose that person, then he lacks credibility and may be overthrown much like the Shah of Iran was. I sorta feel bad for Bush #2, the way the "War on Terrorism" has gone, the way the economy is in the toilet (and has been since BEFORE 9-11), all he needs now is Persian Gulf War #2 to seal his fate and he will follow in his daddy's footsteps. Well whatever happens, dont blame me, I accidently voted for Pat Buchanan......

what a way to spend saturday, going in to help someone at work most of the day. We still have a lot to do, but its coming along nicely. I will sleep in tomorrow. Then I can get some things done around the house. Plus buy some more workout clothes and a brace for my knee, before it pops out. I still need to burn a copy of a few games to send to Cheyenne. Just cant seem to get them to work out just write. Damn copy protection. When I get my next computer I will fix this one up to just copy and edit music, and movies. Well time to make some dinner and enjoy whats left of my saturday.

friday just couldnt get any better, watching Fastlane and Tiffani Theisen has to go undercover into a lesbian bar, and its a movie lesbian bar, so of course the women are hot, yanno, and of course the hot tub scene whoa, super hot, heheh. Probably read and get to bed early tonight. I have to head into the office and finish a project. It will make up for some biggg time mistakes I made this week. Well not so much mistakes as much as things beyond my control crashing down. Nothing I cant handle though. Its a gift really. The gods of moderate fortune smile on me. Now if only the gods of good fortune would stop screening my calls and really shower me with great things....damn caller id.

...well so much for going home and relaxing and watching tv. Instead went to the gym for a couple hours and worked out. Feels great but I dont want to get home at 10pm every night. I will probably be up late now, no big deal, will just mean going in late tomorrow. I really need to work from home, just use my computer, and do my thing in my pj's in peace and quiet....ah well I can dream cant I?

at work right now, and am freekin tired already. Cant believe all I have to do to earn a piddly paycheck. Things are really heating up at work, pressure is on. But I like it that way. Over the past year here, my work ethic has suffered, as well as my sanity. But I have seen these cycles before. High pressure and a lets work together attitude, and then once we hit the wall and have obstacles from the corp. pres. thrown at us and our hands tied by his indecision and funky logic, we give up and slack. But who knows, perhaps cycles like that can be good things, either at work or in a relationship. Provided there isnt a drastic shift. Otherwise, forget it...But I am hopeful that by the end of June I can squeeze another 15% raise from them while at the same time further strengthening my position. Which is key....All I look forward to now is going home and watching Scrubs and having a good laugh. That show is funny and the characters are well played. Was disappointed that South Park was a repeat last night. Though it was well worth it since it was the episode where they nominate John Edwards for Biggest Douche in the Universe. The message of those shows are always dead on. Even through all the poop jokes, it has a smart way of getting things out there..and out there is certainly the best way to describe that show....

Wednesday...hump day...well ok not really, because I need to go into work on Saturday to take care of a project. I wont complain though, after all, it will make up for my slacking last week. :) One of our vendor reps came out to go over some reports and figures for the past year and to see what else she could do for us. I could think of a few things...but I was happy enough to have a hot older woman pay for lunch. mmmm older women. We were talking over lunch and I had mentioned I turned 30 this month, and she said I didnt look it, and that she just turned 37. Such a perfect age for a woman, there is just something about women when they are 35-40 that just doesnt apply to younger women. I would rather have a 36 yr old than two 18 yr olds.Of course, it pretty much stops there, cuz I would rather have two 36 yr old women, than one 72 yr old woman---that just wont be happening until I am in my 80's, lost my hair, teeth and am wearing diapers again.

....ah home at last. Spent quite a bit of time at work today. Had a lot of things to do, so I stayed late, chances are I will go in early tomorrow to get even more accomplished. Plus I have another meeting tomorrow, this time a lunch meeting with a verndor rep. And while TINSTAAFL, I certainly wont be paying for this one..

2oozeday....wish I could stay home and goof off today. But I am too responsible to neglect things. At least some breakfast will wake me up. Stayed up late last night, after I got off the phone I watched this funny-ass show on Comedy Central called Trigger Happy TV. I have been watching it a lot the past couple weeks. It is terrific. Its British and has a very odd sense of quiet comedy to some skits, but then others are just right out there. Like when they have guys dressed as animals doing crazy stuff, last night they had a hidden camera in a movie theater, and it was pretty crowded, two guys in big rabbit costumes sit down and start having wild and loud bunny-sex right there. The animal costumes always crack me up. I am sure that spending many of my formative years at Disneyland may have something to do with it....

whew! Just got home from the gym. Had a good workout. It really helps to have someone to work out with, keep you motivated. My buddy Alex really did a good job of keeping me on track. I am looking forward to getting a good schedule and routine down. Knee still hurts like hell--- "...maybe a little morphine will help..."--- Woke up bright and early, thank you Cheyenne :) Got off to a good start and very productive day at work. Though I imagine I will be up late reading and unable to unwind after working out so late. But I can always scoot into work a lil later than usual. Well, time for some light food, a hot shower and deep relaxation.

....Got a lot done so far, still more to go. I need to buy some boxes and storage containers for the things in the garage and others I dont use too often. This project will allow me to get things ready for this spring, I plan on fixing up the garage and the rest of the place so we can have more BBQ's. Plus it should make it easier to move if everything is already packed and ready to go...Knee is killing me today, took some aspirin, helped a little. Need to go to the gym and strengthen the muscles around it. I miss going to clubs and dancing. Used to have so much fun, heheh....ah the good ole days......Well time to relax and prepare for the week ahead, have lots to do at work, setting up our Seattle office. Course I dont get to travel. But I plan on changing that later this year. Alias is on tonight, that is a good show, even if Jennifer Garner wasnt such a hottie...ah I need to find a warm soft woman and make her mine..course she needs to be relaxed, not uptight, or closeminded. Oh yah and intelligent. Some guy at work had a catalog for Russian brides, i thought that was funny, but hmmm maybe mail order is the way to go. Of Course I have to be aware that contents may settle during shipping.

Ah sunday, still doing some cleaning and organizing as well as relaxing. Should be a good week, after all I get paid on Friday and dont have any more bills to pay, so it will be nice to save a whole paycheck. Things are certainly looking up...Though it would be nice to have a house by now. When I went to my Aunt and Uncles place friday, it was amazing what they have done with that place. They just moved into a house in the summer, and it needed a lot of work. It looks great so far. I think it would be nice (as well as a lot of work) to find a fixer-uper and make it into a dream house. Having already gone through the process and bought a new house, it would be nice to find an existing home and make changes, kinda of like sculpting.....

.....Exchanged gift at Circuit City and got couple dvd's, went to laundromat, bank and deli. The kid and the cute girl who work at the deli are gone, instead its a fat italian guy named Tony, very nice guy, gave me some free chips. I told him I go there every other week when I do my laundry. Course he gave me a ham sammich instead of turkey. But was still very good. Put away laundry and watched Training Day on HBO. Wasnt that good. Too unrealistic in that wanna be gritty realism. Watching Fastlane I recorded last night. Miami Vice of the new century. Yet they make no pretense of being real, just fun. But mmmmm Tiffani Theisen. She looks so yummy. Thats my type of woman. Shoulda bought some beer when I was out. Maybe tomorrow when I hit the grocery store. Well until then time to do some more cleaning around my room......

Wow a beautiful day out. Makes me glad I woke up earlier than I had wanted to. I have plenty of things to do today, head over to Cicuit City and return a gift, go to Trader Joes and get some groceries. I need to look for some of my things that are in boxes in the garage. Well time for breakfast.....

Friday at last. As Alex is out of town, I decided to skip our regular Friday meeting. I mean after all. the only reason I come in is for the free bagels. Went home at a very decent time, checked email and found some cool deals on some stuff, so I decided to do a little shopping for Valentine's day. Nothing too crazy, just something to say Hi. Watched a tv for a bit, and then got ready and went out to meet my parents at my aunts place, go out to dinner and hang out. Had a nice time. Just got home and chatting with my roommate. I am glad I was able to get my DVD's back from the folks. They are such nice people. It can get a bit annoying at times, but overall they did a great job raising us. Learned a lot from them, I have always had confidence that I will be a great father and husband, because of the example they have been to me. I learned from what I consider their strengths and their faults. I certainly have my own, but when I see how some parents are today....ugh. Makes me glad I wont be teaching their messed up kids. Ah well....in a few years I will have my own and can prepare them to go out into this world...that is if its still around. That crazy Bush is at it again. Well I will save my Bush rant for tomorrow...now its time for some relaxation and sleep.

What a wonderful day! This jackass at work quit. Its funny to see the reactions of each person to this news. The women in the office, saw no problem, well no major problem with him. Even though he always talked down to them and insulted them at every opportunity. Yet almost all the men in our company who had to ever deal with him are all very happy about this. One guy wanted to go out for drinks to celebrate. Now I can be mean, but celebrating somebody leaving just doesnt make me feel too good. But hey the guy was a major jackass, arrogant and clueless to boot. Oh then there's his Ultra Whacky Christian views. Wrote little bible quotes and pasted them all over his monitor, cubicle, desk. Yet was caught looking at porn on the PC at work, was always full of pride, envy, anger, bigotry. You name it. He wanted to adopt kids and had some picked out, but wanted to change one of the kid's name, cuz he didnt like it. The kid was already 5 years old. Its not like its a dog or cat....Anyhooo, other than that just another day.

Well not much going on today. Got a lot done at work today. Skipped working out as my knees were killing me today, like an old man, they act up when it rains, as it did today. Checked my checking account online, its sad to see a whole bunch of checks clear at once. Ah but things are looking up. Spent a lot of money last year, and burned up my old buffer. Not to worry though, should be able to build it back up by June. And then coast through the rest of the year. Will be even better as I get more raises.

Weather sucks today, was close to 80 today. But very windy, and not a cool ocean breeze like we usually get. Knees hurt a lil today, prolly just from the high pressure system, worked out anyway. Work is becoming hectic again, time to open our 17th office, this time in Seattle. And of course, I dont get to go :( Oh well, once they all get established then maybe i can swing a trip to some of our locations. Watching a program on History Channel about Henry VIII. Interesting viewpoint as the narrator compares aspects of the past with the current situation in England. But I am not a fan of such comparisons, especially using modern day images. It usually produces a jumble of history that is presented with more image than substance. Anyway, enough of that, time to get comfy for the night.

Busy day. Mondays usually are for me. Had to get some write-ups ready for some moronic employees in our Chicago location. Dumb-bastards cant even count let alone do their jobs with any sort of honesty. I am glad that Alex left for the windy city today to go Axe them and hire their replacements. I just hope these people work out. Checked the sale papers, Staples had a pretty good deal on RAM so I stopped by on my way home and bought some, threw it in my PC and wow its certainly going to extend the life of my PC for about another year. After that then its time for a superior performance machine. Talked a lil with Cheyenne, though I had to cut it short so I could finish working out. But I am happy that she has a ton of job prospects this week. Also she got the post Xmas gifts I sent. I still have to take back the game she got me, though I did finish watching Minority Report yesterday. Watching Joe Millionaire....seems good so far. This Heidi is a BITCH. I like the concept of the show. God knows how much I HATE reality shows. But c'mon time to really show people what gold-diggers act like. So far, Zora and Dana havent made much mention of 'fairy tale' or money. I wonder how much better the show would have been if the guy looked more like the butler, fat and bald. Then we'd really see the pull of money. Ahh well. The wind outside just wont quit. Supposed to hit 80 degrees tomorrow.

Ahh sunday. Slept in this am, got up and worked out for 30 min. Watched plenty of History Channel. Usually I do my laundry on sundays, but decided to skip it and do it later this week. Although that meant not going to the deli next to the laundromat. And they make sure good sandwiches, not to mention a cute girl works there. Finished the latest Dean Koontz paperback "One door Away from Heaven", ugh he needs to hang it up. Same tired formula. But today I started a book I got for Christmas, its about the influence of War on gender roles and the influence of gender roles on war. Seems interesting. The author is a self-proclaimed feminist and pacifist. So it doesnt take a genius to figure out where he is coming from. But at the same time I always find it beneficial to look at different points of views. Back to work tomorrow. :( But at least there is a new episode of Alias on tonight.

Today is my 30th b-day. Where has the time gone? I cant even remember what it was like to be 20. Well another 30 min workout, then out for some dinner. ---Well had dinner at Claim Jumper. mmmm claim jumper. Then off to a cool bar in Newport Beach, drinking and hanging out. wall to wall hotties. been a while since I've been out in NB. Looking forward to getting out more, like I used to.

Day 3 of the new year and the new workout. Finished 30 minutes on the bike. Will do at least that much everyday for one week. Then push it to 40 min. the following week and steadily increase it thereafter.

Well today I begin the journey to a happier and healthier life. Working out at home everyday, and going to the gym at least 3 days a week. I turn 30 on saturday and its depressing as hell. No wife or love, no kids or pets, no house. Milestones like this really cause one to think and reflect on where they are and where they are going. The only thing I can do now is take control of certain aspects and hope the rest will come into being in due time.