What, if anything, does it all mean? I wonder that far too often for my own good. I can't fully subscribe to the idea that there is some outside cosmic meaning, but I also can't accept some nihilistic lifestyle and live like there is no tomorrow, polluting my body and brain or doing damage to others. It worries me sometimes that I don't have some concrete clique I can cling to that will keep me warm at night and allow me to march forth over anyone in my way. But I also can't fully wrap myself in the defenseless martyrdom and helpless acceptance of all that around me. Always torn between yin and yang. Born in January with Janus forever part of my life. And somewhere in between is the balance I strive to achieve.
We make our own meanings in life is about the only thing I can come up with. Some of us search out meanings in other things, sex, drugs, religion, work, violence, pain, denial, etc. Some of us are just given a definition early on and we can't get past it or just don't see more beyond that.
Humans are a marvelous and a terrible thing at once. So much potential for creation and destruction. Our actions can wipe out untold numbers of species. We can build grand monuments, change the course of rivers, bring down mountians, cure diseases, make sacrifices for ideals, lie, cheat, steal, love, hate, think, hell we can even leave this planet and visit our moon. So much promise. So much pain.
I am always curious to see what happens next. What a wonder it all is. Turbulent and tranquil. It's all the reality tv I ever need.