December is here and with it comes all types of images, feelings and expectations. It is cold enough again that I use the mini wall heater in my room at night and in the morning. The sweatshirts, pullovers and longsleeve thermal shirts are back in my dresser. Even when I sneak out of work before 5pm, I get home and it's dark out. Which doesn't make me feel all that much like running errands on the way home. The weeks will pass quickly as we near Christmas and I have to think about shopping for gifts.
I see decorations and get a little homesick for the good old days. I remember big Christmas parties with our entire family for many years. Images of my mom making punch with lime sherbert, my dad mixing drinks for my uncles, my sister and I playing with our cousins and getting gifts from our grandparents.
As I have gotten older, I miss that more and more. The day loses it's magic with age. Moreso without a wife, children and a house of my own.
As my fourth Christmas with my current job approaches, I realize how much I miss winter break, both as a student and a teacher. Not having to ask someone for time off. Not wondering how many days vacation/PTO you have left and weighing that against time with my family.
And after that, it's the New Year, and right after that, my 32nd birthday. I never thought such a thing would be possible. By age 33 my father had a wiffe, 2 children and a house as well as a job that he would stay with until his retirement over 25 years later.
The ghost of Christmas future visits me often this time of year.