I have just returned from a night out and what an odd night. Jason and I went out to House of Brews in the Huntington Harbor for a few beers. Luckily we were able to sit at the bar relatively soon and could then relax and enjoy the atmosphere. It's a slightly trendy and clean sort of place, but there are always plenty of very attractive women and the juke box has The Cult as well as some other good tunes. As we were talking I could hear some of the conversation of this guy and this girl next to me. It was obvious it was one of their first few dates, possibly even the first. The guy was trying too hard and was negative and needlesly giving out information that was questionable. Who tells someone on a first date that they steal satellite tv? and can get all the movie, sports and porn channels? Immediately the girl asked if he watched the porn to which he lamely replied, well it's on sometimes. I am sorry, is there some kind of timer that just makes porn come on? Then he explains how porn fills a void in ones life and how if he had a woman he wouldnt need porn. Because the real thing is way better than porn. The obvious implication is "Hey babe, I am missing something from my life, if you were my woman I wouldn't need porn because you would give me sex all the time, but if you didn't well then it's back to porn when you leave the house to go to visit your mother"
Doooode.....If you are going to mention it dont make it sound sad. Either dont bring it up or else say Yes I love porn, it taught me everything I know, now I am a stallion and can satisfy you. Or something to tap into her needs and let her know you can be a sex machine, not a pervert.
He also tells her that when people get married they shouldn't change and why would he need to be more responsible, he should be free to do what he wants to do. Kids mess things up, but then he says he loves kids and he would want them but just not a wife. He sounded like Melissa Etheridge as he said "just someone to have the kid and then we remain friends and maybe she sees the kid every now and then"
Oh and she also paid for everything after he asked what time her curfew was and was visibly upset that she said 12am, so he told her to finish her drink so they could leave.
This boy needs serious help.
But damn it was fun. I wanted to make a whole show like this. No cameras or else just make everything hidden from both parties. Of course there are legal issues, but it would be so entertaining.
We also spent a few hours in some deep, useless and fun conversation with some girl next to us we told us how CA has no values as opposed to NY and suggested that we join some game where people run for beer. Like some drunken Olympic events. Again at first she was on me, she started the conversation by asking why I was drinking water and then she decided that I sould drink so she bought me another drink. Then of course almost near the end of this she mentions something about her volunteer work with abuse victims and something she said set Jason off because her misconception of the law. So as he is telling her what the law is and explaining how they arrest abusers all the time, the fire and passion for his job and what he does just explodes and she is rapt by his words and emotions. Personally I have known him for nearly my entire life and have never heard such passion or conviction. But she was lost in him. Chicks dig that. I used to be able to get that with the whole teaching thing, but now I don't like my job so how can others be interested in it. I hardly am.
As we all walk out after last call, there is a fight in the parking lot and the bouncers arent doing anything. Sure don't get hit, its outside the bar, but grab a phone for crying out loud. I got one of the others to walk outside and then some other guys are arguing about why the lone bouncer out there didn't do anything while 4 guys attacked the one guy on the ground. As he lay bleeding his 2 friends ( i think they knew him) were telling the bouncers that should have stopped it, blah blah. At which no one had still called the police or an ambulance. So Jason and I left in disgust. And in the confusion we did not thank our tree-hugging friend for the fun conversation and the drink. So thank you Pixie may you continue to run and get your beer.

I feel the need to include this link in the off chance someone wants to help keep America sane.
I like the guy, but even if you don't then just remember my campaign slogan for Kerry would be "He's better than Bush"

www.johnkerry.com

Register to vote, learn about the issues and keep democracy safe by exercising your right to vote.

Some days I just want to drive as far as I can and end up in a big meadow, walk into the middle of it and sit beneath a huge oak tree, lay down and stare at the white clouds in the blue sky, feel the warmth of the sun on my face and the cool breeze through my hair, then pull a Rip Van Winkle and sleep for a hundred years.

Other days I want to jump into a fast car, crank up the stereo with some heavy angry rock, race through traffic, down the highway, skid into a parking lot and pull up to a bar/club that is playing the same type of hard heavy rockin tunes, grab a beer , play some pool and beat the shit out of anyone who so much as looks at me or puts Steve Miller on the juke box.

Today is not one of either of those days. Instead I want to sit in a comfy leather chair in my prefectly decorated and clean 30's bungalow-style home that was remodeled by Bob Villa, read a good book, drink some iced tea and wait for my lingere model wife to come home so we can cook dinner and watch Jeopardy! together.

It never cease to amaze me just how selfish and self-absorbed people are. I am not a saint by any means but I try to adhere to a certain ethos. I shudder to think that others who act in such a selfish manner do too. I like to believe that what I witness is more chaotic and primal than a well thought out system of behavior. For instance last night as I was out I was going to drive through Del Taco when out of nowhere fast as lightning some tweaker in his car flies through the parking lot and zooms up to the order thingy. His tweakette girlfriend is calling out the order from the passenger seat over him. She says she wants a number 7 to which the drive-thru guy replies "Do you want the combo". Well duh, but it never hurts to verify. Of course the tweaker has to scream out and point out the obvious redundant nature of the question. Tweaker continues to yell in a clipped and hurried fashion his order as well as amending tweakettes order. Then he tries to zoom to the window but has to stop as the drive thru guy tells them how much it is. Then Zoooom to the window. After shoving the money through the window to the drive thru guy, he roughly grabs-yanks the bags of food from him and Zoooms off as though he was late for a date with his dealer.
Today as I stopped by the post office to drop off more packages for work, I grabbed a number (33) and of course looked up to see that they were currently on number 22. There were not too many people there, so I sat down to await my turn. I looked down and noticed two numbers stuck together on the ground at the foot of the number dispenser, numbers 24 and 25. I realized that if I grabbed those I would be after number 23 and would be able to skip ahead 10 people. But my ethics would not allow me to do such a thing. Cutting in line ahead of the people who were here before me would be wrong. So I sat and waited. Some old lady walks in and sees we are now on number 23, she goes to the dispenser and sees the number sticking out is 36, looks down and sees 24 & 25, looks around and then picks them up. As number 24 was called out she walked up to the counter and I could not help saying rather loudly that such a thing took a lot of nerve. Some others looked at me funny, and I explained the situation. Of course half of them thought I was a sucker for skipping the chance to cut ahead as they would have (not putting it together that I would have then cut in front of them) and the other half thought the old lady was wrong to do such a thing but that we would not lynch her in disgust as it was late in the day and no one had a rope.

It's not like I jumped in front of a bus to save a kitten. And it's not like that lady threw a kitten under a bus either. Which is my point really. Big deal you say? Who cares? So what? Exactly I answer. If it is not such a big deal, then why not do the right thing, let the car in front of you merge, stop at the yellow light. Don't be in such a selfish hurry that you ignore those around you. Be courteous and kind to your fellow man. Especially when it is convenient. Some would argue, hell I would, that being good in the face of inconvenience is something to be proud of. I would agree. But that is harder and those instances don't happen as often.
Life to me is a test, and sure the essay portion counts for 25% so you better not screw it up. But all those little true and false, multiple choice, matching and fill in questions, those make up the other 75% of the test. So do well on those and you could just skip the essay. Little things like that add up and just like the commerical says, "It's ok, I had Subway for lunch" do a lot of little good things and they can actually make up for a few really bad things.

Ok so my idea of how to pass on the wheel of Karma is a little skewed. But damn it makes sense to me. Besides, I had Rubios for lunch today.

Don't you hate it when the first thing in the morning on a Monday no less, someone at work makes you feel stabby? At least if it was the end of the day or possibly Thursday I wouldn't have felt as stabby. I can tell it's going to be one of those weeks already. Luckily I have pretty much everything done on the home front. I usually do laundry every two weeks and on the alternating weeks I clean around the apartment. Not like manic crazy Howard Hughes clean, but the usual. Nothing I love more than walking into a room when the carpet has been freshly vacuumed. Every morning before I go to work I make my bed. Not a tough task, but I feel better knowing that when I get home, I can come home to a clean room. And this has seeped into my organization of my closet and the clothes I wear. I have now arranged my pants and dress shirts in a certain order so that I can keep track of when certain things need to be dry-cleaned and of course when I wore what. All I need now is a tie rack. I have never been one of those people who has 100% discipline, but I do like to keep things pretty tidy and managable. It's nice to have the place presentable in case I bring home company unexpectedly. Ok, so a big what if. But I do like coming home and seeing everything pretty neat and clean. When I go on trips the first thing I do when I get home is unpack. I can't stand the idea of unfinished business before I relax. I like to get that out of the way and then relax when I get home.
My dvd's came in the mail today. I bought some dvds from Best Buy last week when they were on sale, 4 dvds for under $30. I haven't bought any in a few months and I was really in the mood to watch Top Secret! and after watching it, I certainly feel less stabby...until tomorrow anyway.

I may have to move to Canada if Bush wins the election this year. It always amazes me that Republicans complain about Big Government and Federal Government. Yet they will create laws to legislate our behavior. This FCC thing is really pissing me off. I used to love listening to Howard Stern, until he separated from his wife, then he seemed to have lost what made him so funny. The married guy who didn't cheat on his wife, but had tons of hot women always naked on his show. For the most part I like his brand of humor. I don't dig fart jokes, I usually like more thoughtful humor. And I wouldn't want my children to listen to his show and if they did at a friend's house, I sure as hell wouldn't let them emulate his behavior. But I do not need the government to protect my children from someone on a radio show talking about farts and poop. Keep Al-Queda from bombing my place of work, keep 14yr old boys from shooting up my kids schools, clean up the streets and neighborhoods of drugs and crime. Take care of that shit first.

It is so typical to go after something symbolic that requires very little real effort.

My parents almost never cursed in our home, they didn't drink except on New Year's Day and their anniversary, and only one drink each or they'd share a drink. But they let us watch horror movies at a young age, they let us watch violent movies at a young age, some movies even had nudity. I used to read Truely Tasteless jokes in 4th grade, I knew every curse word by then, some that my peers didn't know. And for all I had seen or heard at a young age, my parents instilled in us the values and the knowledge of how to properly behave. Even at my advanced age, I still don't curse in front of my parents. I know how to behave and act in different situations. They taught us that. Government didn't stop me from learning about sex from magazines or cable. But my parents taught me how to behave like a civilized human being. And you can't legislate behavior. It doesn't work. The best chance you have is educating parents, and educating children in schools and more importantly by modeling the behaviors you expect in others.
And society is always changing. It isn't always good, or comfortable. There was a time when bra commercials were just a spokeswoman showing a huge cross-your-heart bra on a mannequin. Now we have Victoria's Secret commercials and tv specials. Not that I mind, hehheh. But it is an example of this change in attitudes and what is acceptable. Movies have become more graphic with violence than ever before. I wish people weren't slowly becoming more rude or crude. Being polite and civil is not important to most people anymore. I miss that, and it does cause me concern. But I don't want the government to tell me what I can and can't listen to or see. That responsibility belongs to parents.
In a "free market" (which Republicans value so much) we can let the consumers decide. Let individuals write letters or boycott 7-11 if they don't remove Penthouse from their shelves. Don't buy tickets to Braveheart or Pulp Fiction if you don't approve of violence or profanity in movies. Write in to ABC and protest their showing of lingerie shows. That will cause change.
Also teach your children right from wrong. Tell them to say please and thank you, not to talk with their mouth full of food, to chew with their mouth closed, to open doors for others, to let people in front of them on the freeway when you see a turn signal, when you do cut in the freeway hold your hand up in a high five or a peace sign to say thanks, don't talk so loud when on your cell phone in an elevator....list goes on and on....but ultimately teach your children and those around you to "Do unto others as you would have other do unto you."

Me so sleepy. Well past my bedtime but i had lots o' fun. Another St. Patrick's Day put to rest. I can pack my green shoes up until next year. Yes green shoes. Green suede Doc Martens from way back in the day when I used to sell em to lil wanna be punks. Anyhoo I am off to bed. I hope everyone had a happy St. Patrick's Day. I always miss my grandma on this day. She was a good lady and always took care of her favorite grandson. Yeah you heard me I was her favorite. Hell I am everyone's favorite because I am such a damn nice guy.

I have been listening to old songs (80's) that bring up memories and emotions of nostalgic sadness. For some reason I have been doing this lately. I can't ever really figure it out. Some of these songs aren't necessarily depressing or anything they just dredge up bittersweet memories or not even specific memories but just feelings. It's odd because at times I will listen to some hard angry rock like Rollins Band or some sweet thoughtful relaxing music like Chris Isaak. But those are feelings in the present. I never understood my mom's love of old music, or the way lots of our parents never "grew" into modern musical tastes. But it seems to make sense to me as I get older. A lot of the songs and artists I have always liked and liked to listen to every now and then. Even when I was 21 I would listen to this stuff and fondly/sadly look back at 4th grade or other episodes of my life. I know I must be forgetting some songs/bands, perhaps I should start taking requests so I can build my music wishlist. My book and movie wishlists are already huge, but I haven't started one for music in over 15 years.
All I know is that sooner or later I will have to break down and buy one of those 80's compilation cd's and be told what 80's music to listen to instead of choosing my own songs.
Richard Blade would be proud.

Some people are estimating that Mel Gibson stands to make about $300 million dollars for himself after all is said and done with the Passion of the Christ. Wow. Gutsy move on his part. And it paid off for him. I respect that about the man. Say what you will about the movie or his religious views but that is a something I admire. I am sure that the sequel will make even more money.

I watched AutoFocus tonight, the movie about Bob Crane of Hogan's Heroes fame. Greg Kinnear did an excellent job and Dafoe was really good as the creepy friend. The movie was good. The last half dragged on and was stale and dry, but I think that was the point because it detailed his fall from fame and the feeling of the last half just connected so well with his life towards the end. The man was seriously addicted to sex. I thought I liked boobies and naked chicks, but this man was insane. And with all the picture taking and videos. Sad. It was funny because the priest in the movie talked about temptation and the need to remove oneself from temptation. I have always argued against that. It is my belief that only in temptation can one be sure of the strength to resist temptation. However it was this very reasoning of avoiding temptation that created so many ascetic monks and hermits. Ahhh the life of a hermit. Yo ho yo ho a hermit's life for me.

Ah another relaxing Sunday has come to an end.
Alias---An average episode. The whole thing seemed a bit rushed. I hope they put Sark down for good. It is amazing how many times they capture the guy and he gets away. At least Jack got to kill someone. He may be a distant and somewhat unemotional father, but could you imagine how cool it would be to have a dad that you could always 100% say to your friends "my dad can kill your dad." No one would mess with you at school.

Listening to music as I often do before bed. It usually gets me thinking or rather feeling certain things that cause me to think. Right now I am wondering why I don't just make the committment to being a hermit. So long as I had cable tv and the internet, my books and music, I could lead a relatively peaceful and happy existence. I'd even get a dog. That would be it. Just live in a cabin somewhere out of the way and just BE. When I express these thoughts and feelings, some friends tend to ask if I would feel lonely. And the truth is I would. But when those same friends also tell me how they envy my life, without attachments and I see some of the troubles in their relationships, I realize that it can be just as lonely IN a relationship. Sometimes more lonely. We are born alone and we die along. There really is no way around that. Yet we are by nature a social animal and we even institutionalize this need by creating a lifelong bond (well it used to be lifelong for some people anyway). Hell this need is so great homosexual couples in America are trying to have that same opportunity. Yet it really is becoming obvious that the "institution" of marriage is a relic and crumbling along with so many other old traditions such as taking care of the elderly in one's family, or keeping an eye on your children, hell even keeping an eye out for your neighbors kids. Today who even knows their neighbors, let alone would scold someone elses child for doing something. Hillary was right, it does take a village to raise a child. Hell more and more homes don't even have both parents or else they have some weird mix of step kids and parents. The trend really is the continuing decay of nearly thousands of years of traditional family structure. Talk about a major revolution. And it is funny because the conservative folks talk about preserving marriage and family by resisting the acceptance of gay marriage. It's like hanging on to a torn and shredded blanket when someone else wants it for warmth. You know what, it is pretty much useless so why not just give it up and get some goodwill in exchange.
And this isnt a repeat rant about gay marriage. The real subject on my mind is the whole lifelong relationship thing and how it's pretty much over. Or at least on it's last legs. Give it one hundred years and the whole idea of getting married ONCE and staying with that person until death does part you, the whole thing will be some quaint ancient cultural tradition. And if you think I am wrong ask yourself how you view a dowry or arranged marriages. Both of those are tradtions that lasted for thousands of years. Pretty much nonexistant in the modern Western world. Ask yourself what you think when we hear about a family in Africa that married their daughter to the man who gave 40 goats to the brides father. Or what do you think when you hear about the two kids who at age 7 were betrothed to each other somewhere in Asia? That used to be a standard practice across the world, even in Western society.

The funny thing is, I do like the idea of a lifelong companion, a woman who I may raise a family with, who I can share my thoughts with, build a life together, connect with, have adventures and experiences together. Someone who has different interests that would complement my own. Oh and of course she would have a hot body and I would never tire making love to her.

Sounds good. But the hermit thing really is much less complicated and more realisitic.

I have finally decided to go back to teaching. It is a gorgeous day out today and I look forward to having summers off again and just tooling around town with not a care in the world. It is a glorious feeling to be out while the rest of the world works. Go to a movie at 11am on a Wednesday. Or sit out on a patio having lunch near the beach with the sun on my face. Just thinking about it makes me feel years younger. Plus in addition to the free time, it will feel good to have purpose again and contribute to the progress of mankind. Hey it's the only way I can justify my existence here. With no belief in heaven or hell, that leaves me with the knowledge that this is all we have. And if that is the case, then to give my life purpose, I too need to believe in something greater than myself. For me that is the continued progress of humankind. And if i can teach and guide young people to think for themselves, I am confident that they will make the right decisions for themselves.
And the fewer drug addled, uneducated people out there will mean a better society. Holding back the tide of decay is something I have always wanted to do. Surely no one person can do it on their own, but if we all put our fingers in the dyke we can hold that tide back.
Not to mention bring a smile to the dyke.

I just saw Spartan today. It was a pretty good movie. It wasn't all that original, but it was written and directed in such a way that for the most part it had the feel of an orginal movie. You can never expect too much from these sort of thrillers. Mystery about some crime/international incident, backroom politics leads to a double-cross, running from the very people you worked with, pushing forward when you should have played it smart and done the wrong thing, and then conclusion. It's usually the same, but a good movie in this genre will usually leave you feeling like you sorta knew what was going on, gives you a legitimate twist and then takes you for a pretty good ride.
Val Kilmer was as cool as ever. Ever since Top Secret he has been one of my favorite actors that just has that aura of cool. Tia Texada is in the movie and I can't figure out if she is pretty or not. They seem to have used a lot of makeup on her, and there is something askew about her lips and her face in general. She has that Michelle Rodriguez look, where you are sorta attracted to her, but there is something "off" yet perhaps that is why she is attractive. Not necessarily beautiful, but attractive in the actual definition of the word. That is there is something that attracts you to her.
Of course I could be crazy but perhaps that is the real charm, like the imperfect stamp that is actually more valuable than if it was perfect.

I feel bad for Martha Stewart. Sure I think she is a bitch and she did do something wrong. But it's sad just how much she is taking a beating for this whole thing. And it's not just because what she did is wrong, and it's not just that she is stuck up, controlling and a bitch. A lot of this is because she is a woman. There are so many executives and owners of companies that are assholes, greedy, controlling etc. Who have done similar or worse things. Now she could have played it smart and acted sorry, played dumb etc. But she stood firm and confident and juries hate that shit especially in women. OJ walked because Johnny Cochran was a genius and flipped the script so that OJ became a victim. Hell why do you think The Passion of the Christ is so popular, we love victims. Now you have to be careful when you play the victim, it can't be overplayed because then you lose sympathy and seem opportunistic.
Obviously Martha knew better, as a former broker she knew the rules and what to say. But the one thing the Feds hate, and most authorities hate, is lying. But throwing her away for more than 1 year in even a Club Fed is extreme.
I am not some conspiracy hippie freak or anything, but if George W. Bush can LIE to the American people to make his daddy proud and fulfill some daddy-pleasing-following-footsteps-Freudian-thing by cooking the intelligence and engaging in unlawful warfare causing the death of American men and women, then will someone please tell me why he isn't in jail or being impeached? For crying out loud, Clinton gets a blowjob in the Oval Office and he's up shit creek. Bush leads thousands to die and is about to let a half-baked "democratic" Iraq run itself and no one other than a few liberals cry out.

But please lock Martha Stewart up, pull Howard Stern off the air, stop Siegfried and Roy from marrying each other. That'll create jobs and keep America safe.
Shit like that makes Michael Moore look sane.

Have I mentioned how much I hate my job? That place makes me feel stabby and shooty. Don't people understand just how stupid they are? That really is one of the most annoying things about stupid people, they are too stupid to know they are stupid. Worse than that, its that they feel the need to constantly remind me of just how stupid they are, as if I could ever forget. Don't get me wrong not everyone is stupid. There are some people who I deem to be almost as intelligent as myself, hell there is even one or two people I consider to be slightly more intelligent than me. And yes, I am aware of my faults and failings as well as the fact that I am not the most intelligent person on Earth. It may not always seem like it with my superior and self-righteous attitude, but I do acknowledge the greatness of others. Over the years though I have let my contempt for others really shine through. And while I am aware this can be percieved as being petty, I honestly don't care anymore. This anti-social attitude has been growing slowly over the years and I am more convinced than ever that I shall live in a hermit-like existence with a heart like C. Montgomery Burns. The only thing to save me will be the ghosts of hot models past, present and future. They will remind me of the love and warmth I used to have in my bitter old heart and I will wake up one morning a changed man and ask the chimney sweep outside of my window if the biggest goose is still in the window and when he says yes, I shall tell him to go fuck the goose and stay away from my chimneys.

That or I will go out and buy hairplugs and a sports car and pick up on women like Barbara Eden at PTA meetings. Do they even have those anymore?

Listening to music again helps keep me motivated. I am not sure why but I have always been very connected to music in an emotional way. I know most people are but I am curious if everyone is. You know how some people can't stand the sight of blood or some people get vertigo. Maybe people have different wiring when it comes to what stimulates them. And not just based on association, but on some biological level. I have great senses which I would jokingly refer to as being super senses or super sensitive. Certain sounds just drive me insane, like when people use a knife and it cuts the plate....I am pretty narrow when it comes to what I listen to.
I always tell people what an open mind I have, which is amazing to people who know me because so many ways I act are very narrow. Fish. I don't eat fish. I refuse to eat fish. But being the nut I am, I will eat a tuna sandwich. That's just one example. But while I may live my life in a narrow way, the mind is very much open. I usually explain like this-- for my mind to be open sometimes I must be very close minded. Think of a computer, if your PC had no spam blockers, no pop up killers, no virus protection software and no firewall would your PC be able to openly be on the Internet? Probably not for long I would imagine before it became infected with all manner of trash. Such is my philosophy for my picky existence. I am open minded enough to understand how someone can believe what they do, but not so open minded that I can become brainwashed either.

Although joining a cult would probably allow me to meet some easy women. But of course the cult leader usually saves them for himself. Rat Bastard.

Wow, Patricia Wettig was on Alias again, and damn her tits were huge looking. She used to be on Thirty-Something and now she plays a shrink for the CIA on the show every now and then. Of course that is mostly because her husband, Ken Olin produces and directs a lot of the episodes. After that it was time to watch some Dave Chapelle. That show is so funny. I love that Comedy Central makes more of their own shows now. Crank Yankers can be funny sometimes, and of course The Daily Show is pure genius. I wish more people could see it and appreciate it the way I do. Ah the world would be a much better place....

Ok, who turned on the friggin heater. We have had nice cool weather until today. Suddenly its in the high 70's. I had to find a pair of shorts to go out and get lunch. I haven't worn shorts since October. (which is an indication of how warm October can be.) It is supposed to be warm like this all week. Of course then I am sure it will get cool again. Just to mess with us. It really does feel like June or July. This heat of course makes me want to go out for summer fun and goof off. Of course heat like this also makes my sex drive kick in to overdrive. Something primal about the heat, even though it means sticky sweaty not neat clean sex. Then of course there is always showering together. It would be nice to have a big bath tub for that.
I also do not want to cook anything in the kitchen, ok so it's not like I usually do anyway. But now I just want someone to bring me something to eat. But I am trying not to spend too much money these days as I want to kill that last credit card once and for all. And I have to save my money for a little trip to Mexico in a few weeks with some friends. I actually was tempted to buy all 6 seasons of Stargate SG-1 last week at Best Buy. They had a pretty good deal, Save 50 bucks if you buy all six. But I can't really justify that as it is still on the air and I don't know that I would really watch them. But I do enjoy the show a lot. And after having bought Alias seasons 1 & 2, I feel more and more like it is worth it to have certain shows. Speaking of Alias, I am so glad there is a new episode tonight. It has been weeks. With all these Sunday awards shows and specials. I hope this means they will continue showing new episodes each week. After all I need my weekly dose of Jennifer Garner.

It occured to me today that I don't have a cool hobby and perhaps that is why I am not rich and successful. This morning I met my friend at work to pickup his car and follow him down to San Diego so he could have some work done on it. So my day included lots of fun driving down and back up the coast. Which I actually enjoy as it gives me time to take in the scenery as well as ponder lifes many mysteries. I do my second best thinking while taking such leisurely drives. My best thinking however occurs in the shower.
But I am off track here. So as I am waiting at work for my friend to arrive I see these other two people meet up in the garage in separate cars. They both get out and grab golf bags and pile into a third guy's van. And I realized hey, I don't have some kind of scheduled hobby/sport/socializing event that gives my life meaning and structure. I thought about how lots of successful people have these organized lives and part of that is to set aside specific time for such types of activities. Obviously it isn't the activity itself that generates or contributes to the success, it is the general way that these people organize their lives.

Now I have always known this, and have missed teaching for that exact reason. I miss schedules and planning things ahead. That kind of organization makes it easier to be more efficient in the use of the little time we have here. And it also doesnt hurt to lose a golf game to your boss now and then.

I find it interesting and entertaining to listen to peoples thoughts and opinions, even when I don't agree with them. Hell sometimes that's more fun. Usually I just nod politely, utter a few comments they want to hear to reinforce their demented thoughts and let them walk away thinking what a nice agreeable chap I am and how they should invite me to the next meeting with the Grand Wizard or the Queen Alien. Some repair guy today came into our office to repair our fax machine and I helped him carry it's worn carcass out to his car. He found it necessary to mention that he was in the Army Reserves and might get called up soon. A prospect that I find sad and most certainly wish him the best of luck. He continued telling me that his unit specializes in something that only 3 other units do, he declined to mention what that was other than "oh we do lots of things, right now one unit is directing traffic in the desert in Iraq so convoys don't get lost." Hmm I thought to myself, a specialty in doing lots of things. I let that one go and let him continue telling me that he doesn't mind going there, he did two tours of duty in Vietnam, one in the first Gulf War and Bosnia. But more importantly because he hopes that Bush gets reelected so that they can finish the job otherwise some other president will change things and get this, "we will be the laughing stock of the world, because right now they know we mean business and no one else was going to step up and do anything."

Being the expert at deception that I am, I was able to hear all this without conveying my sense of shock and disbelief. Other than the fact that Bush plans to withdraw our major presence by the end of June, well before the election and thus making that point moot. He actually believes that what we did with Iraq was right and worth the dangers our troops face. And he must also believe that somehow in less than one year democracy will take root and flourish in Iraq.

He certainly isn't insane or anything like that, he just has an opinion and world view that is different than mine. And that is what I really got out of it, aside from being afraid that more people think like that. It is helpful to know what other people think even if it differs from what we think. We have to live and work with people who we may not like or trust or agree with, but it's that basic ability to get along and move past those things that keeps us from slipping into some chaotic barbarous state.

Well Kerry has emerged as the Democrat to run against Bush and now things will really heat up. I can't wait to see how this unfolds. A lot of this will depend upon the running mate Kerry chooses. More than likely it will have to be a more conservative Southern Democrat to counter the Northern Liberal charges against Kerry. They should do pretty well with the issues if their team sticks to the economy with a sprinkling of the rush to war with Iraq. Bush of course hopes that by turning Iraq back to the Iraqis by the end of June that will make Iraq a non-issue. However, considering how premature the turnover of power will be it is very likely to back-fire when the country slides into chaos. The gay marriage issue will eventually fade away as the Republicans realize it's not a major domestic concern. Now we are finally hearing about "out-sourcing" American jobs abroad. We watched this happen in the 70's and 80's with manufacturing and now it is happening with service and certain tech jobs. Granted we can adapt and develop new jobs for a new economy, but we also have to stem the tide of our jobs and industries leaving the country.
There will come a time when we will need to have goods manufactured in this country and the people to provide services to also reside here. We have become a victim of our own success. Yet many Americans still don't have the kind of prosperity one would expect we should have. Living in SoCal, I can't imagine that I can ever own a home here. Unless I move to the desert somewhere and commute 3 hours. And I refuse to live to work. It is bad enough we work to live. I can't imagine defining my existence by my job.

How is it that a giving someone a simple ride home can end up in an evening at a strip club? It's like Gilligan's Island, what should have been a short little trip ended up with a long stay on a tropical locale, in this case the Hawaii Theater. I should have been home with a heating pad on my shoulder instead of having a hot stripper on my lap. It was my second time there, my second time at any strip club as a paying customer. I don't like to frequent such places as I have in my younger days dated and was friends with quite a few strippers/dancers. So I have never had much interest in seeing or paying for that kind of entertainment. After getting to know some of them, and seeing how they play the game I see past the illusions that seem to enthrall so many guys. As such I have a difficult time enjoying the show. One of the dancers last night had what looked like a wedding ring on and I couldn't help but to keep noticing it.
Really the best thing about the place is that they play Rock music. Though some of the girls lack the energy or skill to perform to the music. One of the girls had a body that was just out of whack and not in good shape, but she had energy and knew how to dance and work the floor. Then some young teenish looking girl comes out and looks so awkward and stiff I felt bad for her. Another dancer kept looking around the room and watching what was going on at the bar or towards the dressing room as other girls came and went. Nothing worse than to watch someone who isn't into their performance, whether that is acting, music or in this case dancing.
Ok, so I obviously have a tough time just relaxing and enjoying it for what it is. But these are the twisted thoughts that run through my head. I can't watch them and think about sex with them or fall for the illusion and lust for them like I am supposed to.
It's like watching that movie where they show you how they make hot dogs. After that you really can't eat another hot dog knowing what you now know.

It's raining and it sounds so good. Right now I wish I was sitting in a beach house on some tropical island listening to the rain. I can even smell how clean the air is. I have always loved the rain and will never really understand why so many people look at it as a bad thing. The 'weathermen' on the news always say things like, "And tomorrow will be a better day, with sun and no more rain". Screw you buddy, the rain makes a better day. I remember having my annual pass to DisneyLand when I was a child and when it was overcast and there was a slight chance of sprinkling or drizzle, we used to go to DisneyLand and no one was there, you could run through the lines and go on rides over and over. Even to this day when it's cool, overcast and looks like it may drizzle, I call it DisneyLand Weather.
Sure it's no fun to drive in the rain, especially in SoCal, where people do one of two extremes. They either drive faster than what is safe, or they slow down to some kind of paranoid crawl in constant fear of their tires going into a slight puddle. Put both types of lame-ass drivers on the road and we have a nice pile-up.

Well I guess I wasn't too far off. I am glad that LOTR won so many Oscars. Though I think everyone did get LOTR fatigue and the whole thing became rather boring because of it. Nevertheless, it was a worthy movie series.

Well another fun week ahead for me. Work has been so crazy that my eye twitch has returned. It really must be work, because at home on the PC I don't have it. How sick is that, I have developed a nervous tick. And for what? A job.

I really am sick of Billy Crystal hosting the Academy Awards. Why not have Chris Rock or Jay Mohr or Ben Stiller. Lets get some younger and better comedians. Ah well, let's see who will win. It's always interesting to me to see who should win as opposed to who actually wins. And the envelope please:
(The A's are my picks, the O's are Oscar's)

A-Best Picture: LOTR. Just for the fact that it made history being filmed all at once. No more George Lucas crap where we wait 10 years between each film.

O-Best Picture: Lost in Translation. It has the buzz, a female director and is a good movie. Master & Commander, please lets give Crowe a break from Oscar. Seabiscuit? Its too formula. It smells like inspirational Hollywood sap. Empty calories.

A-Actor:I'd like to see Johnny Depp get it for Pirates only because it was a very good character. But for full depth of acting ability, I pick Bill Murray. He should have received an Oscar for his role in Wild Things.

O-Actor: Tough one. But I think they will go with Bill Murray. Again the buzz. Sean Penn yah he's gained serious status over the years, Ben Kingsley another great actor, but who even saw this movie? Johnny Depp is a favorite, but the role was too light and fun. Jude Law, the movie had some buzz, but he's young and they would likely see him get one later in his career.

A-Actress:Naomi Watts for 21 Grams. Good actress.

O-Actress: Ugh, Charlize Theron is a favorite. It's almost a sure thing.

A-Supporting Actor: Benicio Del Toro. That guy is a good actor.

O-Supporting Actor: Tough one to figure out. Tim Robbins is a favorite, but they may want to give a nod to Alec Baldwin.

A-Supporting Actress: Marcia Gay Harden, she is a really good actress. Go see her.

O-Supporting Actress: Renee Zellweger is the favorite here.

A-Director: Peter Jackson. Again he did something amazing with this movie. It could have turned into a flop Willow-style. But it made gobs of cash, was fun to watch, and did a good job all around.

O-Director: Clint has won before, so it's not likely they will give him one this time, though winning before does make anyone seem more Oscar worthy. (It's like the presidential election) Sofia Coppola may just walk away with the Oscar for this one. It was a good movie, and again has the buzz. Jackson may be snubbed purely for the fact that the movie is a fantasy movie. Comedy movies dont win many Oscars.

As for the rest? Who really cares. Costumes and Sound and Editing and all the rest. Hey I am sure good work was done, but it's not exciting to me.

Another fun-filled evening has come to an end. Did the whole Newport/Costa Mesa thing tonight and didn't even have a lot to drink. Usually I do to take the edge off when being around that kind of crowd. I get suck a kick from watching people. Not in the lurking behind your bushes peeping through your window way, but in the "I am judging you with my eyes" way. I have always been an observer more than a participant. I enjoy watching things around me and learning about my surroundings and how it all fits and works. Not just the rain cycle or photosynthesis. But how does that old man with the walker look at the two kids on skateboards with tattoos all over them. And how do they look at or regard him as they almost knock him down in their oblivious Bill & Ted stupor. I think that the observing has made me a better judge of things and has allowed me to see what is likely to happen in situations. Though that over-thinking causes me to be very judgemental and on edge.

But as I get older and continue to reflect and grow, I become much more pleased with who I am as a person and the way in which I view the world. Although I am very displeased that I have to wait yet another week for the next new episode of Alias. I liked it better when the Academy Awards were on a Monday and in March.

Enough of politics, lets talk about something more fun and less controversial. Religion. So Mel Gibson in his desire to see his beliefs spread and upheld has created this movie, The Passion of the Christ. Smart move to get him into heaven, but it may damage his career in Hollywood. Nothing Hollywood hates more than convictions and the willingness to stand for them. Anyhoo there is some talk of the movie raising Anti-Semitism because of the depiction of the Romans and the Jews and their part in the death of Jesus. Putting the historical record aside as well as the inaccuracies in the movie...I have to wonder why it always comes down to the whole "Jews killed Jesus" thing. Think about it for a moment, Any Christian should never harbor any ill feeling towards any Jew. Even if you lay the blame on the Jewish leadership at that time, let's look at it from a faith based view. Traditionally it goes like this, God send his only son to preach the gospel to men, and to ultimately act as a sacrificial lamb to die for the sins of mankind. Part of this was that Jesus had knowledge of his fate and was Ok with it. So we get this whole predestination fate thing. Still with me? Ok so if the whole thing was known by God and Jesus, and was supposed to happen so Jesus could die for the sins of mankind, then Jesus was supposed to die. In which case, whoever was "responsible" for his death was just playing a role given to them and were acting out the divine plan set forth by God.

So why would anyone blame the Jews, or hate them for (possibly)fulfilling God's will?

Obviously their are other prejudices at work, but can't we put that one to rest yet?
After all What Would Flanders Do?

What a bunch of fraidy cats. Clear Channel Radio has annouced that they will suspend airing the Howard Stern show on their radio stations because of their fear of the FCC. What is happening? Did I suddenly wake up in 1984? And I mean that literally and literaturely (yes I know that is made up). Did Ed Meese become Attorney General again? What's next James Watt drilling for oil in Alaska? Oh wait that's already a current issue. FIX THE ECONOMY FIRST. BRING OUR TROOPS HOME SAFELY. Then go ahead and limit the rights of people who love each other to marry, limit the rights of free speech, cover the breast of a friggin statue, or whatever other wild hair is up the collective right-wing ass. These people need to learn to prioritize. Distraction tactics never fail to amaze me. Though not much is different from our first real (I say real because you can't count Gen. Washington's elections, those were freebies) elections to the ones today.

Whatever your politics, beliefs, views, thoughts, etc...Think what you want, vote for what you want, say what you want. But please take a long look at what you care about when you think of what it means to be an American. Where have we come from and where do you want this country to go. When I do, I look at the Declaration of Independence. The seed from which this country sprang from, based on the Liberty of the Individual. It makes me feel idealistic and hopeful. Sure I maybe a corny sap, just call me Mr. Smith, but I will be damned if I will turn my back on the basic ideals of liberty, equality, justice and opportunity on which this country was founded.

Ok, now I am pissed. It's bad enough when the Republican Christian Agenda is given so much air-time by the media with their whole anti-gay marriage crap. Which of course leads others to only push that much harder for the pro-gay marriage agenda. You have judges and courts, city government and state governments jumping in. But now President Bush is talking about involvement on the Federal level. And not just in regards to the Supreme Court, but the Constitution. I am and have always been a big fan of the Federal Government, I couldn't stand it when the Republicans railed against it in the 80's and even the 90's. All their bullshit about leaving things to the States. And now they jump in again and want to meddle with the Constitution for another phoney issue. Gay Marriage. They wanted Amendments banning Abortion, banning Flag Burning, allowing school prayer. I say phoney, because most Americans really couldn't care less.
In love with your same-sex partner, want to live together, get married, have the states change the laws and have at it. Now the legal profession can create a whole new specialty, Gay Prenuptial Agreements and of course to follow Gay Divorces. Lawyers must be loving the prospect. Who doesn't like the idea:
Some conservative folks who pull the old "God made Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve" crap.
Chrisitians and Jews and Muslims who view marriage as a sanctified union between a man and a woman. Yes news flash its not just Pat Robertson types.
Ordinary men and women who for whatever reason just aren't comfortable with the idea of homosexuality. And I don't mean hate mongers, just people like your Aunt or Dad or neighbor, maybe you or your best friend. It leaves them feeling uneasy, but for the most part they don't care enough to protest because as much as they may not like the idea, they acknowledge that basic fundamental idea of Live and Let Live.
And that is really the big issue. Not some pro or con. Just simply let consenting adults live their life as they choose in a way that does no harm to themselves or others. What could be more American than that?

If that means that 49 states decide that marriage will continue to be a union between one man and one woman (yes, Rick Santorum is a jack-ass but he made some valid legal points) then so be it. Everyone who wants to enter into a marriage with someone of the same sex will just move to that state. And more than likely the other states would follow suit. Maybe not all, but most. It has been 35 years since Stonewall and much has changed, just as much has stayed the same. But as other civil rights movements have shown us, fear, ignorance and hatred can do little but delay the eventual legal (and hopefuly social) acceptance of a minority.

Well, I just got back from the Hyundai dealer. Ah what fun. Hopefully this is the last time I will have to take my car back to them. But I doubt it, this whole thing has been one long nightmare....but thats a story for another time. I just want to drive it until it is paid off, and then maybe one year of no payments. Then trade in and get something more reliable. Or else perhaps just go nuts and buy another Mustang, either a new one or else a '68 like I used to have.
Oh and Hyundai's are decent cars, but their service sucks monkey balls. Yah the warranty you always hear about is cool. But when they don't give you a loaner or pay for a rental and they take nearly a month to fix your car....then big deal. Now you didn't pay for service, but you spend like $600+ for car rental.

So it's been a long freaking time. 3 months of silence. And now with a direct link to me it seems fitting that I at least update. This whole relating to people again and socializing may require me to get more into this. With my new and nearly free digital camera it would be nice to post pictures. Though I think that would mean actually taking them. we shall see. So work is the same. We have a new general manager and not much has changed. I was saddened by the lack of change. I was hoping for a take charge kind of person. But there is still the power struggle and drama to watch, so I will be more than entertained in the months to come. Still slogging through some books I bought a couple months ago. Currently reading about the Cathars, a very interesting sect of Christianity that was wiped out by the Inquisition in the 1300's. I dont think they were expecting......ah you know the rest.

peep

Well I am back after moving and finally having cable returned to my life. Although I have decided..for now..to keep the tv in the front room, and now I must choose between tv and the pc. I love them both the same, yet at some point every parent must choose. We'll see how long this lasts, I am sure I will eventually break down and reunite the two. The new apartment is feeling good. Nice and quiet and clean. I still have much unpacking and organizing to do, but it is getting there. I will also have to venture forth to the garage and begin to tackle all the stored items that need to be organized once and for all.

Well I am in the middle of moving. Or at least getting ready to. Just about everything is ready to go on the truck tomorrow. And now I must unplug the pc and move that as well. TimeWarner has decided that it will take a whole week to get someone out to the new apt to turn on the cable. So I suppose it will give me time to unpack and get organized. It's so tempting to just keep things in boxes and never look at them until the next move. I can't even imagine how sore I will be tomorrow. Pretty much everything has to be moved all in one day. Which isn't too bad considering I have Monday off and will be able to use that to clean the old place and rest up. Moving is such an incentive to plant roots in one place.

OJ Simpson saying he feels bad for Scott Peterson. I know if I was accused of murdering my wife and unborn child the last thing in the world I would want is a testimonial from OJ Simpson. That is like the kiss of death.

Watching 60 Minutes and they are doing a story on the Biological Clock for women. These people are stupid they think you can give birth in your 40's and even up to 55 years old. And supposedly 90% of professional men think similar things about women's ability to have children. WTF. I learned all this shit when I was in High School. Why don't people know their own bodies? It's like this girl at work , I say girl but she is like 27 and she didnt know that women are born with all the eggs they are ever going to have. Unlike men who make sperm daily and as such have to release it daily.(if we are lucky anyway) Even if a woman's body is capable of having kids into 40's why raise a kid at that age. Its not fair to the kids. Women who have kids in their 40's tend to increase chance of Down's Syndrome and why not adopt instead of taking massive doses of fertility drugs. If I don't have kids by the time I am 35, that's it. I don't want to have to cash my Social Security checks to give my kid money to see a movie.
Oh and if Andy Rooney is showing off his swollen hands, you'd think he'd have the sense to get his fingernails cut. C'mon you can afford a damn manicure.

Well after sleeping most of the day I went to see S.W.A.T. It was pretty good. A little slow at the beginning but had a pretty good last half. Although I can't believe they actually use the line "he's a good cop" It just doesnt get anymore cheezey than that. It was a little disturbing that they kept calling the villian, a Frog. Granted it's not much of an unpopular thing to make fun of the French, but using a slur like that or any slur is still pretty ugly. Especially when for most people it is an obscure slur. Most people don't use the term Limey for the Brits or Frog for the French. Anyhoo the movie was good and had plenty of references to the old TV series. The next TV series that make into a movie should be Land of The Lost. Think about it.

What a day. Just got back from Mexico. Time for sleep. I had fun though, as exhausted as I am. Fun was very much needed after today. Ugh Bush visited the Hyatt hotel in the same complex as our office and protesters were out front on the sidewalks. And then someone made a bomb threat at one of the other buildings in the complex so our office was panicked. Anyhoo, time for bed. Adios.

No power in the Northeast US. A major power outage was bound to happen sooner or later. Though I had figured it would be in the western US like a few years back. When that happened, i think in 96 or so, that wasn't much of a surprise either. In college I had to do a group paper on the CA PUC (Publick Utilities Commission) and the then possible deregulation of the electric industry. It was a shock to learn how messed up our power grids are and how in some instances the loss of one small plant could affect several states. The whole way we generate and deliver power needs an overhaul. I just keep waiting for fuel cell development to progress to the point where we won't need to rely on one single line in the middle of the desert to send power to millions of people in an entire region. Ah well by then our summers will be even hotter thanks to Global Warming, and if you don't believe it exists, ask the British who just had the hottest day in their recorded history.

So Arnold and like a thousand other governor wannabes have joined the circus here in CA. It's such a silly thing that less than a year ago Gov. Davis was re-elected and now suddenly people think he is so terrible he has to be recalled. CA really has some of the lamest voting laws. Between our asinine propositions and this recall I am beginning to think we are really crazy. They seem like great democratic ideas but they are so misused its laughable. As much of a liberal as I am, I like Davis and think he is a decent man and was good as Lt Governor. But he lacks leadership ability and the charisma to have been able to address some major problems that were not his fault. The energy crisis and the state deficit are not his doing and he could not have changed things much. BUT he could have stepped up to the plate and shown the people that he was still at the helm of the ship and would work hard to turn things around. And the qualities that he lacks, are the ones that will allow Arnold to slip in and run CA. Well try anyway. Some business men don't do such a great job at politics because of the whole "can't have your way all the time" and "compromise" realities of governing. In Arnold's case, I think he is bright enough to realize this, but it will be interesting to see how this plays out. I think sheer curiousity will allow him to win. Even though most of his movies in the last 10 years have been absolute crap. Oh and he has that constant smiley-I-tell-jokes-so-I-am-always-happy-facade. That worries me. Reagan had that, it borders on being smug and goofy. Like things are never serious or real. Hell even Clinton acted serious at times. And Bush gets that look that is a cross between being mean and crying. Like some presidential pout.

I need time to digest this whole Arnold running for governor thing. In the meantime we are pleased to bring you the following rant.......
..... What is wrong with people that they don't seem to understand how detrimental stereotypes are? This girl at work asked me and my friend if we saw "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy". Which I haven't as I dont dig reality shows, unless its Cops. She then proceeds to tell us how cool it is because gays have great taste in fashion and they helped this guy with a make-over. I was like WTF is wrong with you? That is such a stereotype, although what is called a positive attribute stereotype, similar to African-Americans can dance great or are great atheletes, or Asians are really smart. I mean if someone created a show where 5 African-Americans took a white man and showed him how to dance, I have a feeling that would be taken as racist, albeit based on the "positive" stereotype.
Anyway...
She instead continued with the usual "some of my best friends...." and the "well it is true that THEY do..." Now I am all for pointing out that most stereotypes begin with some grain of truth but it must be noted that it is then used to paint a generalization of an entire people/group. While some would argue that indeed "gay men have great fashion sense" and use that as a positive point. I feel it necessary to point out that the idea of using a stereotype whether to bolster a positive or negative image is on the whole a negative and dangerous thing.
To praise a group and value them based on the positive stereotype is no different than to shun or ridicule a group based on a negative stereotype. Both marginalize a people based on a generalization. Imagine if people would only choose African-Americans to be on their sports teams, or Asians to be on their uh Math-olympic teams (ok thats a stretch) or only hired gay men to decorate their homes, or ....well I am sure you can get my point. It values people based on a generalization, whether it happens to be true or false in a particular case.
I have no control over Television shows, nor do I expect them to be sensitive enough to see these points. If that were the case then maybe Gay characters on tv(network) would be allowed to be serious. Or maybe Fat people would be allowed to not be funny. Take a look at old movies (before the late 60's), where everything in the movie is serious and somber, and then an African-American actor appears and then the music changes to some goofy ass tune and the comic relief steps in. They do the same with with Fat people and Gay people on TV and in most bland movies.
Just think about it, and listen to people as they hold a stereotype given to them as a badge and you may see just how empty and sad it really is when the stereotyped group accepts it and tries to wear it with pride not realizing they have just bought into the stereotype. And it's a package deal, if you accept the so called positive stereotype, just remember the other side of that is the negative attribute stereotypes, and if other people are allowed to believe the positive stereotypes, I garuntee they will believe the negative ones too.
::::stepping off my soapbox:::::::
Tomorrow's episode --- Arnold for CA Gov...Mandatory push-ups for all CA residents.

Well critics have confirmed what I thought at first about Gigli, this ego driven vehicle for Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck. At first look I thought wow Shanghai Suprise 2, but it must be worse than Sean Penn and Madonna's sad collaboration. Just read this sad review . They seem to have hit it pretty good. As well as realizing that the South Park episode where Cartman's hand as Jennifer Lopez is more entertaining than the real thing. Movie executives really need their heads checked. There is something very annoying about her on screen. Maybe its her voice, or just her attitude. I couldn't stomach the Wedding Planner. Enough should have been enough, yet they keep giving her roles. Granted they are all in shitty movies at this point so it's not like she ruined any good movies yet. But it is only a matter of time before she becomes the weight that ruins an otherwise good movie. She should stick to singing and selling her name to crappy clothes and perfumes.

It's the heat, that is what has kept me away. Well ok it's not HOT but its warmer now. This week highs around 78. I actually went out looking for fans last Monday. No one had any good ones. Just some cheap-ass box fans. So I just had Staples send me two. I had to get two to get the free delivery on an order of 50 bux or more. Anyway, it's great. Yah I could be comfortable without it, but its so much nicer with a fan. Still out looking for an apartment. Found some good places. So we'll see. I really miss owning a home. Granted it was in Fresno. But it was a house and it was beautiful. It will be decades before I can afford a home in So Cal. Unless I want to move wayyy inland and enjoy more heat. Not to mention long ass drives to get anywhere. A friend of mine lives in one of these distant lands, North Corona. The only thing it is famous for is that while driving through it all you can smell is cow shit. Apparently at one time in So Cal we actually used to grow our own food. I remember so many orange groves in Riverside, strawberry fields all over Orange County, corn, etc. Over the years though homes and Walmarts have taken over. Just down the street there is a small field that they used to grow strawberrys and sell them, and now the land has been razed so they can build homes starting in the "Low $700,000's". I dunno about you but if I could afford a home anywhere near $700,000, then hey screw it, low, or high wouldnt matter to me.

Ok, so it's been awhile. I have been sick, and then busy with my computer. Having problems again. This time I am determined to find out where the problem is and fix it. Although right now I am sidetracked as I am just in awe of the beauty of Angelina Jolie. She is talking to Barbara Walters, and damn she is so gorgeous and yet oh so f*cked up. Damaged beyond belief. It's interesting that she can talk about so much of the pain she has caused herself, yet she still doesn't seem to have a full understanding out it. But she certainly is more open and honest than most Performers I have seen. You can just sense that she is quite sincere about what she says and for all the crazy things she does, it doesn't seem to be about making waves and getting attention, as much as just doing as she wants and living a free life. And while I wouldn't suggest everyone cuts themselves, or lives life so free they scarify their bodies, I certainly respect how she explains it. Maybe it doesn't hurt that she is very beautiful too.

I was thinking that for a brief period of time people married for love, and made their choices based on that. Certainly not all people, but for a bried time in the West there was a romantic notion that you should love the person you will spend the rest of your life with. And as divorce rates have risen, and alternatives to marriage have become more commonplace, the value of loving the person you marry has seemed to slip away. It makes sense that if you are going to get divorced sooner or later anyway, or that fidelity in marriage just doesnt exist, then why not get something out of it. Oh and I am not talking about alimony. No, in this new era we have a new breed of arranged marriages and dowry, thanks to Television. Sure its better than marrying off your daughter for a herd of goats, and why not compete to marry a stranger for some money, then just get divorced later. But is this really where we want to go back to? It's not like an out and out Domestic partnership or cohabitation, where the legal and religious contract has been entered into FOREVER. I say hey make those arrangements. But when you enter into a contract before your community, your god(s), and your state, shouldn't that be taken seriously? Granted things happen, people change/grow. But just for the out and out sake of entertainment? My new idea for a tv show is couples who cant have kids, and they compete in games to win babies. Or the other direction, call it Orphanage Olympics, where say 10 orphans, aged 5-7(the next seasons would of course increase the age group) they compete to be adopted by a nice white couple in the suburbs who will ply their new child with toys and money.
Oh I am really onto something. The possibilities are endless.

Stayed home from work today. I really hate to miss work, not because I enjoy it so much, but because there is always so much more to do when I return. That and just the sense that as I am at home, things need my attention at work...I was watching AMC and they are advertising a special on Hollywood and the Muslim World. How Hollywood or rather American films create a certain idea or images of American life, values, culture, etc. It is a good concept, I will be curious if they do it well. I would like to see the comparison made between the objections that Muslims have to American culture and the objections that Conservative American Christians have about American culture. It is so easy for most Americans to wonder why Muslims, or anyone from another culture would object to having American culture shoved down their throats. Yet we have people in this country worry about sex and violence in video games, the media, music. Why shouldnt Muslims have similar objections? I can't imagine that any group of people wants their culture to become subordinate or diluted by another culture. And as it is impossible to just simply put up walls and prevent the spread of another culture, it is possible for each group of people to look at their own culture and determine if it truly represents who they are, and who they wish to be.

Voice is still shot. Just took some Nyquil and in a few minutes will be fast asleep. I didn't take any last night and didn't get a good night's sleep. Dreamt a lot and woke up every couple hours. Poor sleep is usually when I actually remember my dreams. Otherwise, I almost never do unless its one of a few of my recurring nightmares. But being nearly emotionally dead for almost a year or more, I dont have nightmares anymore. I wanted to focus on cleaning the garage again this weekend. I will have even more to do next weekend. I have already begun the preliminary search for an apartment. Time for bed.

Not feeling well today. All this week I have felt a sore throat developing and by mid Friday my voice was going. Against my better judgment, I went out with my friend to a BBQ with some of his friends in Irvine. Of course drinking was involved and during the course of the night, my talkative nature and the alcohol conspired to deprive me of my voice. My friend wanted to leave, and I was more than tempted to stay considering that a very hot woman came over, but as I was under the impression that she was the girlfriend of one of the hosts, I decided it was best for me to get home and rest. Of course on the way back to my car, Alex told me she was single. Oh well, she was smoking and smoking out. Major turn-offs for me anyway. So on my way home I decided to see where Jason was. He and a friend of ours were in Newport Beach, so instead of going home, I went over there to this nice lil bar we have been to before. It was packed with people. Lots of hot chicks though, and of course the usual HB/NB guys, the skater/surfer cool dude tude's with thier baseball caps askew. WTF is up with that anyway? I have never seen so many drunk chicks though. Total lack of control. One of which, came over and brought us some shots. Well ok she brought it over for Jason, but by then he had stopped drinking so it was left to me to be polite and drink it. Of course, she then found out Jason is a police officer and her attention was from then focused on him. So Tony and I had to talk about his upcoming move to Florida. Which was why we were out. Live it up before leaving type thing. Poor guy, I would rather risk the very occasional earthquake instead of the more common Hurricane.
Usually I lose my voice in Spring or Fall. This is something that tends to happen every year or so, since I was in junior high.

Woke up early this morning and went to the movies to watch The Hulk. It was showing at 9:30 am. I figured most people would be at church, especially with their obnoxious kids. I was half right. It was not that busy but there were still more kids than I would have thought would be at the movies that early on a Sunday. The movie was ok. I had no major expectations. It was longer than it should have been, and was making me angry at some of the story. It was interesting that Ang Lee used the comic book panels to tell the story. It was a nice touch. After that went to buy some more storage boxes and spent a little bit of time on the garage project. It really will take me the whole month of July to get it to the point I need it so that I can move easily. Then once I move I can really organize and sort through things.

mmmm BBQ. Had a nice lil bbq today for dinner. It's time for a new grill though. Im thinking when I move I'll buy the Char-King...."taste the meat not the heat" Anyway, it's not summer unless there is bbq and sunshine. Didn't have any beers today, as last night was quite enough drinking for me for a while. But in the midst of it all I had time to think of many things.

Some days it just doesnt pay to get out of bed.

What a week. This one has been dragging and filled with tons of mundane crap, as well as the usual nonsense from the higher-ups. Spent most of the week reading and taking my mind off of things at work. I will be busy tomorrow, laundry, going to buy some storage boxes and get an early start on moving. Our lease is up on September 1st, so Jason and I will be finding our own place. I Just hope we find one with a garage, it's so nice having my things out of the way. Will probably do some Father's Day shopping too. More than likely will get a tv tuner card for my dad's computer. Almost got one for myself, but that would mean another cable box, and there's not much point in that. Especially if I am moving. It's going to be a pain to move my desk. Not looking forward to that. Though it will be good to move to a new place and have more space. Ohh better go Fastlane repeats are on...and the second repeat is where Tiffani Theisen infiltrates a ring of lesbian robbers...need I say more?

So according to this news item I read on my AOL welcome screen, this woman in Florida wants to wear her veil for her drivers license photo. And she is arguing that her religion prohibits her from showing her face or having it photographed. WTF. So can I wear a ski mask for my next DMV photo? Seriously....W T F. And if religion is her argument.....I say fine follow your religion and follow it like they do in Saudi Arabia.....women cant drive.

...why do I even try...So I tell the corp pres what my concerns are and ask about the Money...and he says well if you are serious about the offer then I will have to think about it...WHAT! You dickweed Mofo. What the hell is that shit about? Its not like this was my bright idea. His lame-ass way of negotiating. He said "well whatever it is, its more than you make now". Well duh. But one dollar more wont make it worth my time. I could tell him that I would put effort into my new position, and that any amount of effort would be more than I put in now. Jackass.

Well I was officially offered the new position heading up an new department in the company. Monday I will give the pres. my answer, or rather begin to talk about money and the problems I already see, and pretty much know I will get stuck with. Oh I plan on giving him a list of my concerns about what I dont like about the department the way he wants it set up. There are so many pitfalls that he has built into this its unreal. And thats not even considering that for the first 3-5 months I will still do my current job as I train and supervise my future replacement(and thats assuming they hire one within...oh the next 2 months). I think I can imagine what Jesus must have felt like (oh and I mean this in the non-sacrilegious way)...I am given a task and I pretty much have no choice and in the end I know it will end bad for me. And we are also getting a general mangager soon, so everything in the headquarters will change anyway. I was just hoping to be around to watch it happen and perhaps climb up through the chaos that is bound to follow. But perhaps it is best that I will be placed in my own realm before that happens. Like a fallout shelter.

So Friday, I was dragged into another meeting with the corp. pres. and given the distinct impresion that this new department is going to be offered to me. Still no direct offer, which is good. But now its some kind of sick waiting game. Oh well. In the meantime, I have been getting organized at home. Might even buy another storage rack for the garage. I have to get more of those storage bins too. My dad came down to visit on Saturday, and then left today to pick up his cousin from NY. It's funny how different we get along now. I am happy about it. I do need to get away from work and spend more time with my family and friends, as well as time for myself.

Why do these things happen to me? I try my best to stay away from our corporate president and all of Thursday and Friday he had me sit in with him and some others to brainstorm for a new division. And from what he has said, he wants me to head it up. Which is the last thing I want to do. He changes his mind constantly, when he actually makes a decision, is hypercritical, and never fully explains what his expectations are. So anyone who takes a position directly under his control, especially that he has a keen interest in....those people always end up being draggd over hot coals, boiled in oil and subjected to his inane and pompous rants. Oh and after going through all that they are usually screwed over by him in some way. I have once before rejected one of these offers. And this will come with a bigger salary, so I may just have to walk the plank and hope for the best.

Time really has gone by so quickly the past few months. Summer is right around the corner. I am looking forward to it. I plan on spending more time going away on the weekends and taking mini-vacations. As well as going on a good 5 day vacation twice a year.

Surprisingly, my absence of recent blogs means that I have been busy and having some type of social life. That and what time I spend on the computer lately has been about burning CD's and listening to music more. Though I should also be doing some filing and cleaning. My desk is a mess. I would love to have a nice two bedroom apartment, then I could have an office where I could be more organized and have everything I need in one place. Which reminds me, I need to clean out some things in the garage. I can't find some audio tapes, and I want to convert some of them to WAV or MP3 format, before the tapes fall apart. Mostly music from old friends when I used to hang out with musicians and arty types. Seems like every weekend one of our friends' would be playing somewhere. As soon as I got into a steady relationship I skipped that scene and allowed my life to follow someone elses schedule and patterns. Something which I regret to a degree. But it was one of life's lessons, and I have always been pretty good about learning from them. I plan on spending this weekend getting more organized. That way I can really goof off more on the weekdays after work. Its so nice to come home from work and its still sunny out. Makes me want to go out after work, ooooh like happy hour....mmmmm beer.

Well, this week is over. Another short one too. I had a good time with my family over the Easter weekend. And had a productive work week too. Although I can't figure out what is going on in the world. SARS---Big deal. It hasnt killed that many people, and the media has everyone running around with masks on. Then we have Sen Rick Santorum....ugh where to begin? It's just gotten out of hand. The man obviously doesnt approve of homosexuals, yet he has to pussyfoot around and say he doesnt have a problem with homosexuals, just with homosexual acts. Hell man, just come out and say it. If you believe it, then say it. Just say, you don't like gays. Like I am going to say..."I have no problem with Republicans...just the way they act"...Hell, I dont like Republicans...Of course I don't much like these liberal Democratic nut-jobs calling for Santorums blood. The man was talking about the legal ramifications (no pun intended) of the sweeping protection privacy laws would allow. And when he was saying that allowing homosexual acts would also mean allowing bigamy or polygamy, adultery, or even incest, he meant that these are "traditionally" considered wrong, much as homosexuality is, and that socially they confilict with a society's norms that tend to promote and protect monogamous child-bearing marriages. And you know what? I say fine, who cares, if a man or woman wants to marry multiple partners, and everyone consents, go for it. I say if we are talking about situations involving consenting adults who know what is going on, have at it. And keep the government out of it. I have a feeling society is already falling apart and if that is the direction we wish to go, then so be it, bring on the Morlocks.

It's amazing that such a short week, turned out to feel longer. Got back from Mexico Monday, took half of Wednesday off and I have this Monday after Easter off too. Though I will likely be in touch with work as we open a new office in Atlanta Tuesday, and I am sure I'll be getting calls all day about what else they need. I am looking forward to spending time with family this weekend. Though I sure as hell would love to go back to Mexico. Still can't believe how much fun I had. Ahhhh memories. Well I could go on about that weekend. But I wont. Suffice it to say it was great. Now I have to plan going to Las Vegas this summer.

It's amazing that such a short week, turned out to feel longer. Got back from Mexico Monday, took half of Wednesday off and I have this Monday after Easter off too. Though I will likely be in touch with work as we open a new office in Atlanta Tuesday, and I am sure I'll be getting calls all day about what else they need. I am looking forward to spending time with family this weekend. Though I sure as hell would love to go back to Mexico. Still can't believe how much fun I had. Ahhhh memories. Well I could go on about that weekend. But I wont. Suffice it to say it was great. Now I have to plan going to Las Vegas this summer.

Ugh. Just checked my work email to discover more reasons to hate work. They are getting out of hand with their whole timeclock issues. It's sad. I asked my direct boss, the operations director for half day today to go to my best friend's graduation from the police academy and it was approved. Now I read some lame-ass email from our finance manager (a person who by the way uses the term "irregardless") telling everyone that verbally asking for half day doesnt do it. WTF, dont tell me, tell him. Get your freekin policies straight then move forward. People really piss me off. After watching my best friend begin a new career and take up serving the public interest, I really am motivated to get back to doing something more meaningful for work. Money just doesnt make up for making a difference.

ahhhh Mexico. Got back home late Monday night. Finally feel rested and recovered. Had a hell of a lot of fun. Drinking, dancing, walking around, getting some sun and well having fun ;) I really needed to relax and enjoy a few days of fun and distraction.

Oh, in case you thought I forgot about the War, I didnt. Reading through the latest issue of TIME, I see a picture that symbolizes exactly what (most) protestors were taking to the streets for...a picture of a 12 year-old Iraqi boy with no arms, and severe burns on his body. Its right there in TIME and no matter how "evil" Saddam was or how many thousands of innocent Iraqis he may have tortured or killed if we didnt stop him...It doesnt matter, because my taxes paid for the bomb that maimed this boy and killed his entire family. And looking online for a link to this picture, I see a picture of a coffin with an American flag on it, the first one I have seen yet, my taxes paid to put that young Marine in that coffin also. So for all the celebrating being done today, I think of the price of it all, and what we still have to accomplish to ensure it was worth it.

What a nice day. One of our vendors same by today with sandwhiches for the office, and on his way out, gave me some gift certificates to California Pizza Kitchen...mmmmm pizza. Nothing makes me happier than free stuff from vendors. It really makes it all worthwhile. Ok not everything, but it sure makes the day more tolerable and me less likely to leave work early. Although, I do plan on skipping work Monday for the Mexico trip this weekend. I am watching the Simpsons right now, its the one where Lisa ruins Homer's BBQ...well she sends the roast pig flying and I just realized the episode where Lisa decides to live in a tree to keep it from being cut down, at the end of that one the tree/log goes into the sea and just keeps going much like the pig does at the end of this episode. I dunno, I just find that interesting, and now I want to find out if there are other episodes where objects just keep going at the end...Ok so I have too much time on my hands. Excise me if my brain just works that way.

Oh happy news....ok well Im a jerk for being happy about it, but Jennifer Garner is breaking up with her husband. Ah how sad, yah. But it's really for the best. After all....blah blah. Ok, so I still have no chance with her, and I probably wouldnt like her personally anyway, but its just nice to know the option is there...Listen I can choose to believe its an option if I want to. So lets not rain on my parade just now, and I wont burst whatever bubbles keep you waking up each morning. Deal?

Who the hell are these journalists who are complaining and acting indignant about journalists dying in this War? Thousands of Iraqi soldiers dead, thousands of Iraqi civilians wounded, over a hundred US/UK troops killed....and a handful of journalists killed creates this massive outcry of criticism...Is this still Earth? Like the US military is going to take deliberate aim at journalists with the inent to kill them? At least the Iraqi civilians live there, the soldiers on both sides are following orders...these damn journalists CHOOSE to be in the middle of a war zone. An Australian journalist is killed in a suicide bombing and you dont hear any huge outcry by Al-Jezeera about it...nooo. Not til one of their journalists are dead, then they cry foul. I wish I could just go live in a bunker somewhere and never come out to hear about this crazy place and screwed up priorities.

Went to Office Depot today, and got a good deal on blank CD's, Buy 100pk get 100pk free plus 2 25pk of slim jewel cases free. So I really have to burn more music. Not that I would ever violate a copyright.... uhm, anyhoo...So the War is progressing rather well. Looks like the major fighting should be over in the next week or so. I am glad that I have been hearing from the polls that most Americans think the real tough part is ahead. Just sucks that the Bush Admin, doesnt want to play nice with the UN. Whatever conservatives may think about the UN, I hope they have brains enough to realize we need the UN's involvement to help legitimize what we do there. ..And who decided to make a series of Tremors? I really need to get into the entertainment bizniz.

Whheeeeee well I just made reservations for a weekend in Mexico, Rosorito Beach to be exact...going with a couple friends from work. Should be a lot of fun. I am going as the voice of wisdom and reason...basically to keep them out of a Mexican jail. Course with my luck they will just goad me into acting more like they do, and then the trouble will really begin. Really looking forward to it though, havent had a nice getaway since New York last June. All part of my new way of living. Enjoy life.

Ah Sunday night, new episodes of some of my favorite shows. Its a great way to end a nice day. Did my usual laundry and lunch, plus banking and a few other errands. I probably should have gotten my hair cut. After really thinking about it, I dont want to grow it out. But I will keep it longish. It's supposed to get cooler this week, which will be welcome after this warm weekend. It was nice, but it made me wish I had summers off again so I could just sit at the beach all day. Oh well, maybe next year if all goes well. So as much as I love Alias, its starting to get old with the disobeying orders and going on unauthorized missions sorta thing. Which really surprises me because the writing is usually pretty good. But now I think they are usuing tried and true formulas which change from tried to tired. But the suspense and action do compensate. Oh and of course Jennifer Garner.

It was a very hot day today. In the high 80's. It wasnt too bad at home, nice ocean breeze to cool things down, but I went inland a bit to go to the movies, and I swear it felt like the middle of summer more than the beginning of spring. I wasnt much surprised by the suicide bombing in Iraq today at a checkpoint. Its the occupation that will be tough. When people talk of a "new Marshall Plan" or compare rebuilding Iraq to Japan and Germany after WWII....they tend to forget that the people of Japan and Germany had been at war for over 5 years, and by the time the Allies/US occupied them, they had enough. As I said before, we can look forward to the kind of problems the Israelis face. The whole idea that just because the people hate Saddam means they will embrace us is insane. Its funny because for so many years the Republicans have screamed against 'nation building' and 'policing the world'. And yet here we are......Ah well, I will watch South Park and feel much better. Jimmy and Timmy join the Crips, thinking its for handicap people....funny stuff. Was thinking the other how much fun it would be to give Crank Yankers our corporate presidents phone number. The other day he had a sandwich and left it out, it stayed out in the kitchen for two days, so I put it on his desk. It felt so good. I heard from someone that he wasnt happy about it when he actually had to throw it away himself. The lazy bastard. I have seen him do this before. It gets old. And its worse when he makes coffee, god what a mess he makes. Then always leaves his dirty dishes around. I have already thought about what to do on Tuesday...April 1st. Ah how I love a good April Fools Day joke......

I am voting for General Wesley Clark if he runs...I wish he would anchor the latenight CNN news and not Aaron Brown...I feel so bad for these people who lose family in the War and have some dip-shit anchor asking them lame questions. Obviously the family agrees to an interview to honor the memory of the ones lost and to keep that memory alive and to share it with others. But why the hell cant the anchors stop being so damned stupid?....Ok enough of that.....Feel tired today, weather is getting warmer, we are supposed to have Santa Ana winds tomorrow and Saturday....ugh. Always dry and hot, and makes me sneeze, not a lot of fun. Normally we get ocean breezes from west to east, but the Santa Ana winds blow from the south up against the Santa Ana mountains and then blows east to west....I am looking forward to this weekend, its been one of those weeks.

It's not that I only get my news from Comedy Central's Daily Show with John Stewart...it's just that I like the spin they put on it. And their coverage of the War in Iraq has been great. Its a less paranoid version of some of what Michael Moore would think. I certainly dont think this is some great conspiracy, but c'mon Haliburton, just got a contract to rebuild oil pipelines in Iraq. And while it doesnt have to result in some federal investigation, it is nice to see that some people at least raise a few eyebrows about it. Any....listen to the news and every attack by Iraqi's is not an attack its an "ambush". Like somehow they arent supposed to do that. Although the other dirty tricks they use, will only result in US forces showing less mercy and kindness. ....It still amazes me how the Media keeps saying that there are 'setbacks' and tougher resistance than expected. I cant imagine that the Pentagon didnt expect even more resistance. Invading and securing a country of 24 million people can't be easy and accomplished in a week or two. The fact that we, and yes I think of it as we.., the fact that we are so damn close to Baghdad is a testament to our well trained and well equipped armed forces. Before this started, it was my opinion that going to war and potentially sacrificing American lives to get Saddam was not worth it. It wouldnt have been my decision if I was the president....yet it's been decided by the president..fundamentalist-narrow-minded-cowboy that he is.....And now that we are there it would be nice if protestors would write themselves a reminder to VOTE during elections in the first place. And I know most of them didnt vote in 2000. How stupid can they be? Yah, I was against GOING to war...but once we have committed forces, and worse, lost American lives over it, Damn if we are going to sign a truce, and come back home for nothing. And cant't the media just shut up and stop reporting long enough to think. I HATE Aaron Brown on CNN. That schmuck is so freekin stupid. I cant stand him. Only thing worse on CNN is Larry King. That cadaver is even more annoying......
....Oh and as much as Bush#2 is anti-UN I hope he has the sense to allow the UN more of a role in rebuilding Iraq. That is the only way we can gain some credibility and more important....UN peacekeepers. Hopefully from Pakistan....Why? You ask....Because take a look at Palestine or worse, Lebanon in the 80's. The last thing we need is US soldiers occupying Iraq. We will have more suicide bombers trying to take out US positions and personnel. Pakistan is well known for its peacekeeping forces...and they are Muslim...albeit not Arabs...but they would not face the kind of violent opposition that US men and women would.That is where the real risks lie....Just think about it...it makes sense. More sense than HUGE tax cuts and increased spending while the government runs in the red.....damn cowboy.

Well I wish I didnt have to mention the War in Iraq, but its difficult to avoid thinking of it for more than a few hours. Although watching The Princess Bride on cable was quite a nice break from hearing about the war. That is one of my all-time favorite movies. Excellent book too. Though you get more of the emotional impact from the movie and the theme of true love...as mythical as that is. But I was able to not think about the war for a bit. Looks like there are protests in every country now. Its really sad, how Bush#2 has no concept of P.R., Sprite is full of shit, because Image does count. And right now we have a bad image to the eyes of the world. And blah blah all you want about Terror or Saddam, or protecting America...we have gone about it the wrong way. Sure sometimes you have to do the right thing no matter what others think...but we dont live in a vacuum. We live in a world where we have to deal with other nations and their people. And pissing them off to such an extent is just bad for our national interests. Oh and can they stop calling it a Coalition? The USA and the UK...DO NOT qualify as a coalition anymore than Ringo and Paul are the Beatles. With the coalition and Axis, I think that Bush#2 didnt do so well in school. He's always grabbing these terms to create some link to the past. What Bush#2 really needs is to get drunk, do a few lines and lighten up like he used to.

Ok, so we have begun the conquest of Iraq.....Now sure I think our motives....well not "ours" as in mine or maybe yours, but rather Bush #2's motives.....I think the motives really are based on revenge and hatred agasint Saddam, as well as making Daddy Bush #1 proud. I mean I know that a lot of my life has been guided by making my parents proud and to gain and keep their acceptance..as well as the inheritance...anyway.....So Bush#2's motives are also, a true desire to keep America safe...yah I dont like him, but I think he believes he is doing what is best for America, I dont doubt that, but we also have Oil. The fact that rebuilding Iraq contracts are going to be given to his contributors is obviously a factor......But my main point here is whatever I think about his motives, and the fact that I think we shouldnt be starting a war......I think that since the decision was made to take over Iraq last summer, and make no mistake, it was well decided and written in stone this would happen during the summer. Everything else has just been leading to this.......Anyway, its been decided, lets do it, do it right, and prevail. Im not so against it that I will march, and once the fighting starts I'll be damned if I want to see anything other than total victory with minimum loss of life...on both sides.
The rebuilding process will be long and tough. Especially when a year from now people grow weary and we dont completely instil in the Iraqi people the ideals of democracy. Afghanistan is a prime example...after the Soviets left the US should have done more to help them rebuild, instead we left the door open for the Taliban. I just dont want to see the same shit again, with the US putting in an unstable puppet, then walking away as reactionary and fundamentalists revolt and we end up with a regime worse than Saddam.
Well, I hope all goes well.

So I am thinking that its time we just get on with this war, take over Iraq, give out those fat contracts to Bush's Buddies to rebuild the very same things we will bomb, and get gas prices back down to the low prices we demand. All this waiting and back and forth crap is silly. The decision was made in the summer, the rest is just a pretense so we dont look like war mongers. Bush #1 got away with it in Panama, so its only likely that Bush #2 thinks it will be a cakewalk....

Watching 'Entropy'...best part of the movie is just the idea of marrying a complete stranger. Not like Married by America...Its sad how they call it reality TV when there is nothing real about ANY of those shows, with the exception of COPS, hell most times I doubt the News is real. Anyhoo, so the guy in the movie meets this chick at a party, and decides they should just get married and see how it works from there. I think its a brilliant idea. Completely nutty but brilliant at the same time. By the way, its not the main story line it the movie, just something I have always liked about it. Although he married a chick who sucks her thumb and holds her 'raggie' LOL. My ex used to have her childhood blanket, god it was awful, that was a raggie. This movie also employs the use of a talking cat who smokes. Which brings to mind 'Ruben & Ed' with Cripsin Glover.Oh yah cant wait to see Willard. That is one freeeeky dude. The movie involves his quest to bury his dead cat, who used to water ski and as he likes to brag, could eat a whole watermelon. If you can ever find it, rent it. You'll be sorry and glad u did at the same time.

Ok, so the new pc is running smoothly now. Just need to add a case fan because the video card is heating things up. I am so freekin sick of hearing about Michael Jackson. I dont give a damn if he throws his kid from a balcony or takes a bath in Clorox. Lets just try and concentrate on the real important issues today, The O.J. errr I mean Robert Blake trial. Few weeks ago I ranted about how people cling to their lies, well this man has wrapped himself so tightly with his, you'd think Martha Stewart gift wrapped the poor slob.

Well, my new computer arrived. My roommate was cool enough to lend me his XP disc, and today I took it for a test drive. Looks and runs great, especially for the deal I got. More than likely I will upgrade the sound and video card within the next 6months. But I am in no hurry. I have to figure out what to do about having two computers. I dont have enough room to run them side by side like my roommate does, and if I just move my spare hard drive from the old one to the new one, then I can get rid of the old Emachine. Its still a great pc, it just doesnt have the speed and capacity for the fun stuff.....
......Nice early day for me. Dropped the boss off at the airport, and just went home from there. Which gives me time to do some cleaning before my father comes to visit. I havent seen him since Christmas, which I kinda feel bad about not visiting the folks more often. When I was teaching I used to have much more time to take mini-vacations. Of course now I have more money to take bigger vacations. Should be able to take a trip to New York by May and might still be able to head over to Spain by September. I just need to manage my time better and I could even get to travel to some of our other offices around the country. Then I can be like one of those Lifetime movie guys who has a families in like 6 different cities.

It strikes me as funny sometimes just how stupid people can be. It almost seems like they put a lot of effort into it. As though stupidity was a badge and they wear it proudly. I prefer honesty stupidity over dishonest stupidity though. Like when people lie to you and yet you know for certain what the truth is, and yet they still cling to their lies like a warm blanket. And there is no shortage of these people. Not that intelligent people are any better, just as many of them are ruled by greed, selfishness, immaturity and other such flaws....Yah I'm in one of those moods. At times I feel surrounded by these people.....as well South Park will make it seem better.