Not being religious it seems odd sometimes to "celebrate" holy-days. I have never avoided them like some non-religious people I know. They recite speeches about hypocrisy and such. I think I have always just liked them because as a kid they were backed up by gifts and food. But now as an adult I appreciate them for a time to be with family. And looking back I see that was true even then. This Easter was no exception. I look forward to spending time with family. I am lucky to have grown up with a good family that has always shown a healthy amount of love and kindness. No matter who you are they make you feel welcome and loved. Of course we all have our faults as individuals and even as groups. But when I see how my family has always treated in-laws or potential in-laws I know that is exceptional.
So I had fun this weekend with my family. Though I tend to either talk too much or else just silently absorb it all. But that has been my see-saw for a long time now. And I am aware of it too. Sometimes as others talk and exchange stories or ideas, I realize that I haven't spoken for some time and could appear sullen. I just think too much sometimes and get lost in thought.
One of those thoughts is about starting my own family. I see my cousin and her son and I know I should already have a couple kids. I don't know if I can wait the 4-6 weeks for my Russian Bride to arrive. I should have paid the additional postage.

Welcome to America, we like to do things a little different here. We throw out common sense and justice and replace it with idiotic nonsense and get a carnival freak show instead. Our first exhibt is The 9 year old girl arrested for stealing a bunny. Yes stealing is bad, her parent(s) probably have not taught her that and/or provide a poor example by their behavior. But really handcuffing her? Was that really necessary? If I was 9, hell even today if the police came to talk to me I'd be scared enough that handcuffs wouldn't be necessary to teach me not to steal. The worst thing is though that even though this was a bit over the top to scare her straight, the fact that it's in the media now will only reverse the effect. What will happen is people will rally to this child and say "aww you poor child. mean police. you didn't do anything wrong." Wait, yes she did. But now she won't hear that message. She will get positive reinforcement that is focused on the punishment but will be confused with the crime she committed.
Now we have our second exhibit that only makes the first look that much more insane by comparison. Or less insane. Either way please read and enjoy...The Mother's Day we all want to avoid. This lady kills two of her kids and cripples the third under some lame idea that God told her to. And instead of going away for a long time or receiving the death penalty, (she lives in Texas) they found her not guilty by reason of insanity. She had a "condition" which prevented her from knowing right from wrong. Oh I'm sorry, I guess that makes it ok then. Seriously I don't care if it's a mother or father, anyone who takes the life of their own child should be executed. Period. Rats eat their young, humans shouldn't. I can't imagine a crime worse than harming your offspring. It goes against the whole point of having children. I mean who is going to do the dishes, take out the trash and mow the lawn for a lousy 10 bucks a week? You just can't hire that kind of help anymore.

Something fun for the family, check out this blogger's site, PorkTornado especially these two posts. Pure comedy. Album Covers 1 and Album Covers 2.
A friend at work showed me these yestersay and I was cracking up all day. I felt it my duty to point them out. Especially as I am just about burnt out on the crap from Bush. He was at a rally the other day and told workers that they need retraining to compete in a changing economy. Maybe it's my own bias, but when Clinton spoke about this subject during his first campaign, it sounded like a good idea, forward thinking and optimistic. When I heard Bush say it, it sounded defeatist and almost like he was blaming workers for jobs leaving this country. All I could think was forget retraining, stop the damn jobs from leaving. We are so close to the only retraining left is to teach everyone how to flip burgers. And that may disappear as the new war on obesity begins to gather steam.

Hmm, I have a problem with propaganda, always have. Lies twisted into a pretzel and covered with chocolate always made me suspicious. My mother taught me to always check my candy at Halloween and this election year is no different. Conservatives, Right-wingers, Republicans, their propaganda always makes me sick and I notice it right away because I know it comes from that spooky looking house with the creepy man in glasses and the greasy hair. So I always check that candy carefully. But when I go to my neighbor's house I still check it but I don't expect to find anything except maybe disappointment at the crappy little bag of pennies or those lame McDonald's coupons. That's how I feel about Liberals, Left-wingers, Democrats and Moderates. That is why I get outraged sometimes when I get some bad candy from them. When I hear liberals go overboard and overplay their hand, I shake my head knowing that they are just playing into the image the Right wants to paint. Listening to Air America Radio today and hearing grand conspiracies and faulty thinking made me upset. The idea that Al-Queda attacked the U.S. because of some feud with the Bush family is absurd. They were attacking our overseas interests when Clinton was president. It has been shown that they were planning an attack on the U.S. before the Supreme Court appointment of President Bush. (see what I did there?)

I think that when liberals stoop to levels like that even when they believe it, they end up sounding like raving lunatics. And that only hurts the cause. Steven Colbert was on and mentioned how he is a liberal because has a healthy mistrust of government. And that term struck me as odd. Odd because I think that is part of the problem. It is a totally screwed up double standard that liberals are accused of being unpatriotic when they mistrust government, but conservatives are allowed to bash "big government" and the intrusion of the Federal Government into States Rights. Now what struck me as odd, is that a mistrust of government is not healthy. It certainly isn't something that liberals should advertise as the hallmark of being a liberal. Rather I would flip it the otherway, I have a healthy trust in government. That is I trust it to a point, not blindly and not in some absolute way. I suppose it amounts to the same end. But much like the Halloween analogy, it depends on how you view the house. I don't see government as the evil house, but rather the good house that doesn't always gives you the best candy, and you should still check it.

All I want at this point is for the current family to move out and have a friendlier more honest family move in.

Entropy can not be escaped. Decay and change are just part of this grand and mysterious process we exist in. Bodies age, flowers wither, cities collapse in ruins, stars die, and cd's get scratched. People are always so concerned with finding the right answers or searching for some crutch to provide fulfillment in their lives. I am not too different except I am looking for the questions. Answers can't really be found until we look at the questions that come from inside. And most of those just lead to even more questions. I have met a few lucky people like that. Just talking to them makes me satisfied that my world view is the best way for me to look at things. It may not work for others but they don't have to live with it, I do. Essentially that is all that matters. But it does help me to speak with others and learn other views as well as how those views are developed. It's one of the ways to know where you stand and how to interact with others to avoid colliding in space. Plus it can be amusing too.

I saw Hellboy today. It was a decent movie. Had some good parts and the character of Hellboy was well played by Ron Perlman. I just wish they would have explained a couple things. I'm sure it would have made more sense to me had I read the comic books. But they could have explained more about how the evil Nazi blade guy, the Nazi chick escaped in 1944 and then of course show up in the present time. At least how did the Nazi chick stay young? And how did Rasputin come back from the other side? Oh and just as in Tomb Raider we have some deep underground mystical machinery made hundreds of years ago.
It was good though especially for this genre. You can't expect much. I almost dread to go see the Punisher. I loved the comics and the character is a brooding killer in the mold of Charles Bronson. They should have had Henry Rollins play him though. This Thomas Jane is too small and too Jeff Speakman looking. Which only makes the formula of this movie stand out more than it should. I think people forget when they make movies that have been done dozens of times over the thing that people care more about is character than story. We have seen this story so many times. Make a character we can care about and admire or even fear. Hellboy had a bit of that. That's what made his little quips seem fresh rather than the usual action banter we get in other movies.

Oh and two things before I crank up the music and relax tonight: The post prior to this has nothing to do with any one person but rather more to an ideal that exists in this twistedly romantic soul that gets egged on by having watched Notting Hill the other night and other such movies ( don't even let me watch the Princess Bride) that appeal to that side of me.
The other thing is, Did we lose a war or what? Why the hell do gas prices continue to rise when we occupy a country that can produce enough oil to allow us to pay 20 cents per gallon? I will tell you why. I am not big on conspiracy theories and such but.. here goes.....Sooner or later we had to ease the sanctions on Iraq and that would mean more oil on the market and consequently lower prices. So besides completing some sort of Oedipal task, Bush-Cheney also sought to slow down oil production in the region in two ways. One to slow down the oil production in Iraq and the second to piss off OPEC enough that they would reduce production to teach us a lesson. Either way it keeps American refineries and oil companies making money and can help compel the US government to allow drilling in the Alaskan Wilderness.
Think about it , won't you.

It must be your skin that I'm sinking in / Must be for real cos now I can feel................ It seems like forever since I was last in love, so full of energy and life that youth seems forever and pain exists only when I was not with the person that radiated such love for me. I wonder sometimes if I can ever have that again. Then I wonder if I ever want that again, that is do I want that euphoria of lust/love that causes one to overlook those imperfections that will ultimately drive one insane. One of the bright points of being single really is that you don't have to put up with anyone's bullshit but your own. A house, a wife, kids, a dog, etc. Yah they all sound good, will I ever have them? I don't know. What do I need to compromise, what do I need to work towards. Can I really find someone that embodies trust, faith, intelligence, beauty, devotion, strength, and the rest. Am I too picky? I don't think so. You miss one mistake by a hair and it can only put you on edge even more. But I must admit I miss it all. This hermit lifestyle does fit me well to a point but I miss my chance to nurture and love. There is something rewarding about it. Couldn't love you more / You got a beautiful taste

It seems ages since I last felt that for anyone. I wish there was a rewind button for life, a TIVO if you will. Just go back 10 years and do it right this time. Oh well live and learn they say. I have learned now I just need to live again. Ugh, not so easy when I think of the complications of dealing with others. Maybe it's the beer talking but even this hermit needs to walk among the people from time to time. If only just to remind oneself of the reason such a vow was taken in the first place.

For those of you interested in a new and exciting prospect, Liberal Radio, check out Air America Radio. For years we have heard about the "liberal media" when in fact media is usually moderate to conservative. I am curious to see how well this works out. With people like Janeane Garofalo and Al Franken with their own shows it should be pretty fun. As a fan of the Daily Show and its brand of informative humor I look forward to a long run for this new venture.
The only drawback is of course the 'Right' will actually be able to point out an example of the liberal media. But it may be a dawn of a new era where people no longer feel ashamed to be sensible liberals. And I don't mean the usual tree-hugging wife-swapping liberals or the nutty libertarians. Rather those Americans who are moderate in most terms but believe in civil rights and a free society, while maintaining certain standards. The way Democrats were before the Vietnam war split this country in a profound and radical way.

I wonder though, how long it will take for the FCC to shutdown this new radio network.

The sad thing is that for all of the new stories about Bush and 9/11 he will still probably end up winning the damned election. Richard Clarke has written and spoken about something that has pointed the spotlight back onto Bush and his administration's handling of terrorism and the aftermath of 9/11. But for some of us there isn't much news to what he says. A good deal of his criticisms and events that he points out have actually already been written about. Check out Al Franken's book Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right He details how Sandy Berger tried to impress upon the incoming Bush administration and Condolezza Rice in particular the great threat posed by Islamic fundamentalist terrorism and Al-Queda specifically. As well as Bush's perverse interest in a missile defense shield. This poor sap is all about finishing other works started by other Republican presidents. Namely Reagan and Bush Sr. This obession with Star Wars defense is silly. I would say I have never understood it, but that's not true. I do understand it. Mostly it is about some macho sense of protecting the country and making money for defense contractors.
While I think wasting money on nuclear weapons beyond count is insane and $600 toilet seats are a waste, I didn't mind the idea of a large military. One of the worst things we did was the reduction in American forces and the many base closures. The need to save money was there, but the focus on the 'peace dividend' was a mistake. One of the things that Bush and Rice did get correct was the growing threat of China in taking the place of the old USSR.

For all of the bullshit I don't like about Bush and as much as I agree with Clarke's assessment, I can't for one minute believe that 9/11 could have been prevented. And that is where I feel disgust for Bush. Clarke had the good decency as well as political sense to apologize for the administration's and his failure to stop it. Bush is doing what Clinton did with Monicagate. He hides and denies. When he should have the balls and leadership to do what Clarke did and say "Hey the buck stops here. I just entered office, I was told that terrorism was a major concern, I was worried about the economy, China, etc...We could have done more, we should have done more and I am truly sorry for that." I don't blame him. I don't see how it could have really have been prevented given the circumstances at the time. Even with secure cockpits, skyjackings don't end in such ways. The pilots would have waited for the demand that they fly to Algeria or Cuba like skyjackers are supposed to do.

But I think it is of great importance that once you determine how to limit your risks, every effort should be made to do so. I read recently that there are American troops in Iraq that don't have body armor and their families are buying it from private companies here and sending it to the troops there. It is unconscionable to me that we would commit troops without proper equipment.
I wonder if the Texas Air National Guard has any to spare?

I have just returned from a night out and what an odd night. Jason and I went out to House of Brews in the Huntington Harbor for a few beers. Luckily we were able to sit at the bar relatively soon and could then relax and enjoy the atmosphere. It's a slightly trendy and clean sort of place, but there are always plenty of very attractive women and the juke box has The Cult as well as some other good tunes. As we were talking I could hear some of the conversation of this guy and this girl next to me. It was obvious it was one of their first few dates, possibly even the first. The guy was trying too hard and was negative and needlesly giving out information that was questionable. Who tells someone on a first date that they steal satellite tv? and can get all the movie, sports and porn channels? Immediately the girl asked if he watched the porn to which he lamely replied, well it's on sometimes. I am sorry, is there some kind of timer that just makes porn come on? Then he explains how porn fills a void in ones life and how if he had a woman he wouldnt need porn. Because the real thing is way better than porn. The obvious implication is "Hey babe, I am missing something from my life, if you were my woman I wouldn't need porn because you would give me sex all the time, but if you didn't well then it's back to porn when you leave the house to go to visit your mother"
Doooode.....If you are going to mention it dont make it sound sad. Either dont bring it up or else say Yes I love porn, it taught me everything I know, now I am a stallion and can satisfy you. Or something to tap into her needs and let her know you can be a sex machine, not a pervert.
He also tells her that when people get married they shouldn't change and why would he need to be more responsible, he should be free to do what he wants to do. Kids mess things up, but then he says he loves kids and he would want them but just not a wife. He sounded like Melissa Etheridge as he said "just someone to have the kid and then we remain friends and maybe she sees the kid every now and then"
Oh and she also paid for everything after he asked what time her curfew was and was visibly upset that she said 12am, so he told her to finish her drink so they could leave.
This boy needs serious help.
But damn it was fun. I wanted to make a whole show like this. No cameras or else just make everything hidden from both parties. Of course there are legal issues, but it would be so entertaining.
We also spent a few hours in some deep, useless and fun conversation with some girl next to us we told us how CA has no values as opposed to NY and suggested that we join some game where people run for beer. Like some drunken Olympic events. Again at first she was on me, she started the conversation by asking why I was drinking water and then she decided that I sould drink so she bought me another drink. Then of course almost near the end of this she mentions something about her volunteer work with abuse victims and something she said set Jason off because her misconception of the law. So as he is telling her what the law is and explaining how they arrest abusers all the time, the fire and passion for his job and what he does just explodes and she is rapt by his words and emotions. Personally I have known him for nearly my entire life and have never heard such passion or conviction. But she was lost in him. Chicks dig that. I used to be able to get that with the whole teaching thing, but now I don't like my job so how can others be interested in it. I hardly am.
As we all walk out after last call, there is a fight in the parking lot and the bouncers arent doing anything. Sure don't get hit, its outside the bar, but grab a phone for crying out loud. I got one of the others to walk outside and then some other guys are arguing about why the lone bouncer out there didn't do anything while 4 guys attacked the one guy on the ground. As he lay bleeding his 2 friends ( i think they knew him) were telling the bouncers that should have stopped it, blah blah. At which no one had still called the police or an ambulance. So Jason and I left in disgust. And in the confusion we did not thank our tree-hugging friend for the fun conversation and the drink. So thank you Pixie may you continue to run and get your beer.

I feel the need to include this link in the off chance someone wants to help keep America sane.
I like the guy, but even if you don't then just remember my campaign slogan for Kerry would be "He's better than Bush"

www.johnkerry.com

Register to vote, learn about the issues and keep democracy safe by exercising your right to vote.

Some days I just want to drive as far as I can and end up in a big meadow, walk into the middle of it and sit beneath a huge oak tree, lay down and stare at the white clouds in the blue sky, feel the warmth of the sun on my face and the cool breeze through my hair, then pull a Rip Van Winkle and sleep for a hundred years.

Other days I want to jump into a fast car, crank up the stereo with some heavy angry rock, race through traffic, down the highway, skid into a parking lot and pull up to a bar/club that is playing the same type of hard heavy rockin tunes, grab a beer , play some pool and beat the shit out of anyone who so much as looks at me or puts Steve Miller on the juke box.

Today is not one of either of those days. Instead I want to sit in a comfy leather chair in my prefectly decorated and clean 30's bungalow-style home that was remodeled by Bob Villa, read a good book, drink some iced tea and wait for my lingere model wife to come home so we can cook dinner and watch Jeopardy! together.

It never cease to amaze me just how selfish and self-absorbed people are. I am not a saint by any means but I try to adhere to a certain ethos. I shudder to think that others who act in such a selfish manner do too. I like to believe that what I witness is more chaotic and primal than a well thought out system of behavior. For instance last night as I was out I was going to drive through Del Taco when out of nowhere fast as lightning some tweaker in his car flies through the parking lot and zooms up to the order thingy. His tweakette girlfriend is calling out the order from the passenger seat over him. She says she wants a number 7 to which the drive-thru guy replies "Do you want the combo". Well duh, but it never hurts to verify. Of course the tweaker has to scream out and point out the obvious redundant nature of the question. Tweaker continues to yell in a clipped and hurried fashion his order as well as amending tweakettes order. Then he tries to zoom to the window but has to stop as the drive thru guy tells them how much it is. Then Zoooom to the window. After shoving the money through the window to the drive thru guy, he roughly grabs-yanks the bags of food from him and Zoooms off as though he was late for a date with his dealer.
Today as I stopped by the post office to drop off more packages for work, I grabbed a number (33) and of course looked up to see that they were currently on number 22. There were not too many people there, so I sat down to await my turn. I looked down and noticed two numbers stuck together on the ground at the foot of the number dispenser, numbers 24 and 25. I realized that if I grabbed those I would be after number 23 and would be able to skip ahead 10 people. But my ethics would not allow me to do such a thing. Cutting in line ahead of the people who were here before me would be wrong. So I sat and waited. Some old lady walks in and sees we are now on number 23, she goes to the dispenser and sees the number sticking out is 36, looks down and sees 24 & 25, looks around and then picks them up. As number 24 was called out she walked up to the counter and I could not help saying rather loudly that such a thing took a lot of nerve. Some others looked at me funny, and I explained the situation. Of course half of them thought I was a sucker for skipping the chance to cut ahead as they would have (not putting it together that I would have then cut in front of them) and the other half thought the old lady was wrong to do such a thing but that we would not lynch her in disgust as it was late in the day and no one had a rope.

It's not like I jumped in front of a bus to save a kitten. And it's not like that lady threw a kitten under a bus either. Which is my point really. Big deal you say? Who cares? So what? Exactly I answer. If it is not such a big deal, then why not do the right thing, let the car in front of you merge, stop at the yellow light. Don't be in such a selfish hurry that you ignore those around you. Be courteous and kind to your fellow man. Especially when it is convenient. Some would argue, hell I would, that being good in the face of inconvenience is something to be proud of. I would agree. But that is harder and those instances don't happen as often.
Life to me is a test, and sure the essay portion counts for 25% so you better not screw it up. But all those little true and false, multiple choice, matching and fill in questions, those make up the other 75% of the test. So do well on those and you could just skip the essay. Little things like that add up and just like the commerical says, "It's ok, I had Subway for lunch" do a lot of little good things and they can actually make up for a few really bad things.

Ok so my idea of how to pass on the wheel of Karma is a little skewed. But damn it makes sense to me. Besides, I had Rubios for lunch today.

Don't you hate it when the first thing in the morning on a Monday no less, someone at work makes you feel stabby? At least if it was the end of the day or possibly Thursday I wouldn't have felt as stabby. I can tell it's going to be one of those weeks already. Luckily I have pretty much everything done on the home front. I usually do laundry every two weeks and on the alternating weeks I clean around the apartment. Not like manic crazy Howard Hughes clean, but the usual. Nothing I love more than walking into a room when the carpet has been freshly vacuumed. Every morning before I go to work I make my bed. Not a tough task, but I feel better knowing that when I get home, I can come home to a clean room. And this has seeped into my organization of my closet and the clothes I wear. I have now arranged my pants and dress shirts in a certain order so that I can keep track of when certain things need to be dry-cleaned and of course when I wore what. All I need now is a tie rack. I have never been one of those people who has 100% discipline, but I do like to keep things pretty tidy and managable. It's nice to have the place presentable in case I bring home company unexpectedly. Ok, so a big what if. But I do like coming home and seeing everything pretty neat and clean. When I go on trips the first thing I do when I get home is unpack. I can't stand the idea of unfinished business before I relax. I like to get that out of the way and then relax when I get home.
My dvd's came in the mail today. I bought some dvds from Best Buy last week when they were on sale, 4 dvds for under $30. I haven't bought any in a few months and I was really in the mood to watch Top Secret! and after watching it, I certainly feel less stabby...until tomorrow anyway.

I may have to move to Canada if Bush wins the election this year. It always amazes me that Republicans complain about Big Government and Federal Government. Yet they will create laws to legislate our behavior. This FCC thing is really pissing me off. I used to love listening to Howard Stern, until he separated from his wife, then he seemed to have lost what made him so funny. The married guy who didn't cheat on his wife, but had tons of hot women always naked on his show. For the most part I like his brand of humor. I don't dig fart jokes, I usually like more thoughtful humor. And I wouldn't want my children to listen to his show and if they did at a friend's house, I sure as hell wouldn't let them emulate his behavior. But I do not need the government to protect my children from someone on a radio show talking about farts and poop. Keep Al-Queda from bombing my place of work, keep 14yr old boys from shooting up my kids schools, clean up the streets and neighborhoods of drugs and crime. Take care of that shit first.

It is so typical to go after something symbolic that requires very little real effort.

My parents almost never cursed in our home, they didn't drink except on New Year's Day and their anniversary, and only one drink each or they'd share a drink. But they let us watch horror movies at a young age, they let us watch violent movies at a young age, some movies even had nudity. I used to read Truely Tasteless jokes in 4th grade, I knew every curse word by then, some that my peers didn't know. And for all I had seen or heard at a young age, my parents instilled in us the values and the knowledge of how to properly behave. Even at my advanced age, I still don't curse in front of my parents. I know how to behave and act in different situations. They taught us that. Government didn't stop me from learning about sex from magazines or cable. But my parents taught me how to behave like a civilized human being. And you can't legislate behavior. It doesn't work. The best chance you have is educating parents, and educating children in schools and more importantly by modeling the behaviors you expect in others.
And society is always changing. It isn't always good, or comfortable. There was a time when bra commercials were just a spokeswoman showing a huge cross-your-heart bra on a mannequin. Now we have Victoria's Secret commercials and tv specials. Not that I mind, hehheh. But it is an example of this change in attitudes and what is acceptable. Movies have become more graphic with violence than ever before. I wish people weren't slowly becoming more rude or crude. Being polite and civil is not important to most people anymore. I miss that, and it does cause me concern. But I don't want the government to tell me what I can and can't listen to or see. That responsibility belongs to parents.
In a "free market" (which Republicans value so much) we can let the consumers decide. Let individuals write letters or boycott 7-11 if they don't remove Penthouse from their shelves. Don't buy tickets to Braveheart or Pulp Fiction if you don't approve of violence or profanity in movies. Write in to ABC and protest their showing of lingerie shows. That will cause change.
Also teach your children right from wrong. Tell them to say please and thank you, not to talk with their mouth full of food, to chew with their mouth closed, to open doors for others, to let people in front of them on the freeway when you see a turn signal, when you do cut in the freeway hold your hand up in a high five or a peace sign to say thanks, don't talk so loud when on your cell phone in an elevator....list goes on and on....but ultimately teach your children and those around you to "Do unto others as you would have other do unto you."

Me so sleepy. Well past my bedtime but i had lots o' fun. Another St. Patrick's Day put to rest. I can pack my green shoes up until next year. Yes green shoes. Green suede Doc Martens from way back in the day when I used to sell em to lil wanna be punks. Anyhoo I am off to bed. I hope everyone had a happy St. Patrick's Day. I always miss my grandma on this day. She was a good lady and always took care of her favorite grandson. Yeah you heard me I was her favorite. Hell I am everyone's favorite because I am such a damn nice guy.

I have been listening to old songs (80's) that bring up memories and emotions of nostalgic sadness. For some reason I have been doing this lately. I can't ever really figure it out. Some of these songs aren't necessarily depressing or anything they just dredge up bittersweet memories or not even specific memories but just feelings. It's odd because at times I will listen to some hard angry rock like Rollins Band or some sweet thoughtful relaxing music like Chris Isaak. But those are feelings in the present. I never understood my mom's love of old music, or the way lots of our parents never "grew" into modern musical tastes. But it seems to make sense to me as I get older. A lot of the songs and artists I have always liked and liked to listen to every now and then. Even when I was 21 I would listen to this stuff and fondly/sadly look back at 4th grade or other episodes of my life. I know I must be forgetting some songs/bands, perhaps I should start taking requests so I can build my music wishlist. My book and movie wishlists are already huge, but I haven't started one for music in over 15 years.
All I know is that sooner or later I will have to break down and buy one of those 80's compilation cd's and be told what 80's music to listen to instead of choosing my own songs.
Richard Blade would be proud.

Some people are estimating that Mel Gibson stands to make about $300 million dollars for himself after all is said and done with the Passion of the Christ. Wow. Gutsy move on his part. And it paid off for him. I respect that about the man. Say what you will about the movie or his religious views but that is a something I admire. I am sure that the sequel will make even more money.

I watched AutoFocus tonight, the movie about Bob Crane of Hogan's Heroes fame. Greg Kinnear did an excellent job and Dafoe was really good as the creepy friend. The movie was good. The last half dragged on and was stale and dry, but I think that was the point because it detailed his fall from fame and the feeling of the last half just connected so well with his life towards the end. The man was seriously addicted to sex. I thought I liked boobies and naked chicks, but this man was insane. And with all the picture taking and videos. Sad. It was funny because the priest in the movie talked about temptation and the need to remove oneself from temptation. I have always argued against that. It is my belief that only in temptation can one be sure of the strength to resist temptation. However it was this very reasoning of avoiding temptation that created so many ascetic monks and hermits. Ahhh the life of a hermit. Yo ho yo ho a hermit's life for me.

Ah another relaxing Sunday has come to an end.
Alias---An average episode. The whole thing seemed a bit rushed. I hope they put Sark down for good. It is amazing how many times they capture the guy and he gets away. At least Jack got to kill someone. He may be a distant and somewhat unemotional father, but could you imagine how cool it would be to have a dad that you could always 100% say to your friends "my dad can kill your dad." No one would mess with you at school.

Listening to music as I often do before bed. It usually gets me thinking or rather feeling certain things that cause me to think. Right now I am wondering why I don't just make the committment to being a hermit. So long as I had cable tv and the internet, my books and music, I could lead a relatively peaceful and happy existence. I'd even get a dog. That would be it. Just live in a cabin somewhere out of the way and just BE. When I express these thoughts and feelings, some friends tend to ask if I would feel lonely. And the truth is I would. But when those same friends also tell me how they envy my life, without attachments and I see some of the troubles in their relationships, I realize that it can be just as lonely IN a relationship. Sometimes more lonely. We are born alone and we die along. There really is no way around that. Yet we are by nature a social animal and we even institutionalize this need by creating a lifelong bond (well it used to be lifelong for some people anyway). Hell this need is so great homosexual couples in America are trying to have that same opportunity. Yet it really is becoming obvious that the "institution" of marriage is a relic and crumbling along with so many other old traditions such as taking care of the elderly in one's family, or keeping an eye on your children, hell even keeping an eye out for your neighbors kids. Today who even knows their neighbors, let alone would scold someone elses child for doing something. Hillary was right, it does take a village to raise a child. Hell more and more homes don't even have both parents or else they have some weird mix of step kids and parents. The trend really is the continuing decay of nearly thousands of years of traditional family structure. Talk about a major revolution. And it is funny because the conservative folks talk about preserving marriage and family by resisting the acceptance of gay marriage. It's like hanging on to a torn and shredded blanket when someone else wants it for warmth. You know what, it is pretty much useless so why not just give it up and get some goodwill in exchange.
And this isnt a repeat rant about gay marriage. The real subject on my mind is the whole lifelong relationship thing and how it's pretty much over. Or at least on it's last legs. Give it one hundred years and the whole idea of getting married ONCE and staying with that person until death does part you, the whole thing will be some quaint ancient cultural tradition. And if you think I am wrong ask yourself how you view a dowry or arranged marriages. Both of those are tradtions that lasted for thousands of years. Pretty much nonexistant in the modern Western world. Ask yourself what you think when we hear about a family in Africa that married their daughter to the man who gave 40 goats to the brides father. Or what do you think when you hear about the two kids who at age 7 were betrothed to each other somewhere in Asia? That used to be a standard practice across the world, even in Western society.

The funny thing is, I do like the idea of a lifelong companion, a woman who I may raise a family with, who I can share my thoughts with, build a life together, connect with, have adventures and experiences together. Someone who has different interests that would complement my own. Oh and of course she would have a hot body and I would never tire making love to her.

Sounds good. But the hermit thing really is much less complicated and more realisitic.